Eight Months!

I'm a day late, but what's new? Harry turned 8 months yesterday! Has it really been eight months? Anyway, I haven't done a monthly update (or any update) in awhile, so I figured I'd better let you know what is up with my butterball!

Harry has three almost four teeth. Two on bottom and one and another about to finish popping through any day now. He loves to eat! The list of things that he does not like is much shorter than what he does like. He does not like butter beans. Yeah, that is all that I've noticed he will not eat. He eats meat, tons of veggies, some fruits, bread/pasta/rice, and he had some cookie the other day-thanks to Alice!

Harry is still nursing a lot. Mostly at night. He nurses maybe four or five times during the day and several times while sleeping. Or at least I'm sleeping. That is one wonderful benefit of co-sleeping. He also likes to bite. He has little shark teeth on the bottom and it hurts so much more than it did when Alice would bite. Of course, he is like her because it is oh so funny to make me say no, ow, or ouch!

We are so close to crawling. He has been getting up on his hands and knees and rocking for the past week or two. He can move himself backwards, but only manages to do face plants forwards. Harry is sitting up so well. It only took FOREVER! The other day he sat up from a crawling position. It is nice to have a "baby". Alice was walking steadily by this age. Just goes to show how different babies are!

I weighed him the other day. Unofficially, he is almost 21 pounds. I also weighed Alice and she was 26.5 pounds. No wonder my back hurts when I hold him!

Harry is still just the happiest, most content little man. He is rarely without a smile. Even in the throes of teething, he is a pretty pleasant baby!

And now to see how cute (and BIG) he is getting...

An Angel Got His Wings

I'm terribly saddened to tell you that two year old Tyler Burdick got his wings yesterday. I have been struggling with this, and wrote the following early this morning...

I want to thank You, God, for the blessing and miracle that was Tyler. I've never met this little boy or his mother, but I feel like a little part of me has died. My heart aches. I cannot begin to imagine how his parents feel. As a mother, this really is tortuous. It is my worst nightmare. I realize you are never too young to die. That the triumph is much greater than the tragedy. Tyler is at peace and healed. He is on his greater and ultimate journey, as Jesus promised.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

On behalf of his parents, I want to thank You for allowing all three of them those last hours. What a blessing and a miracle. The beautiful symbolism of the circle of life--from Your hands to Stephanie's, and from Stephanie's back to Yours.

I know many people are wondering "Why Tyler?" God, I know your intention for Tyler's life. He has brought so many people together. He has brought many people to You and strengthened their faith, myself included. He has helped me become a better parent in many ways. I have more patience. I hug, kiss, and tell my children that I love them more. He was such a fighter, hero, and inspiration.

I'm now praying for Stephanie, Dan, Dawson, and Gabriel. Please comfort them and lift up their hearts. Give Stephanie and Dan guidance to help Dawson, and eventually Gabriel, understand.

"A child that loses a parent is an orphan. A man that loses his wife is a widower. A woman that loses her husband is a widow. There is no name for a parent that loses a child, as there is no word to describe the pain." -Author Unknown
***
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads his white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. He is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch him until at length he hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, he is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. He is just as large in mast and hull and spar as he was when he left my side and he is just as able to bear the load of living freight to his destined port.

His diminished size is in me, not in him. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, he is gone!" There are other eyes watching him coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here he comes!"
***
Tyler, may you rest in peace, sweet boy. This is not goodbye. This is a see you soon. "Lord, at last let Thine angels come"


If you feel compelled to donate to this family (Dan lost his job while being with Tyler--so they could use help with the funeral, medical bills, mortgage/utilities/food, etc) please visit their CaringBridge site. Their email address is listed (gpxchick@hotmail.com) and donations can be made through Paypal (make sure to mark as gift, otherwise fees are involved). Their home address is also listed there. I believe a bank account has also been set up, but I need to double check on that. Please check out their site and read about Tyler's last hours. It is really quite beautiful and heartbreaking.

Also, for you parents that have lost a baby or child, can you recommend any support groups? I'm sure Stephanie and Dan could use any support they can get.

Prayers Needed Internets

A lady from Harry's birth club, has a two and a half year old boy, Tyler. He has been fighting leukemia since he was four months old. He is about a month and a half past a bone marrow transplant. His baby brother, Gabriel, was his donor with his cord blood. Tyler's leukemia is considered cured, as his ANC count keeps going up.

The problem is the toll all of the chemotherapy has had on his little body. His liver and kidneys are blocked. His veins are leaking fluid. The lining of his lungs are filled with fluid. He has been on a ventilator for at least four weeks, along with dialysis, and many other medicines and support systems. He is currently on max blood pressure medicine.

Yesterday morning, he was alert for awhile and kept trying to talk to his parents. Last night, his blood pressure dropped to 50/30. He made it through the night, and his blood pressure is currently 36/22. They have to remove the current dialysis current today, and if Tyler's blood pressure and he are stable enough, they will put a new circuit in. I'm praying he can pull through all of that.

To add insult to injury, Tyler's father was fired from his job a few weeks ago. Apparently he had exhausted his PTO and FMLA, but was unaware (understandable given everything going on) and the company let him go. Not only was he the sole provider, but also the insurance carrier. Now they are faced with the realities of a mortgage, medical bills, and probably a funeral. If any of you would like to donate to this family, you can do so at

www.caringbridge.org/visit/tylerburdick

You can also read Tyler's whole story there and leave a note for Tyler and family.

I have been praying constantly for this little guy. I have spent a lot of time crying too. Having two healthy children, I am extremely grateful and blessed.

Please keep Tyler, his parents Stephanie and Dan, and his brothers Dawson (4) and Gabriel (7 months) in your thoughts and prayers.

Friday Night Leftovers (The Changes Edition)

It's been awhile. I figured since I need to catch up, that FNL was a great time to do that! So without further ado...

• This post is aptly titled. Many, many things have been going on and changing around here. They are also the many reasons I haven't posted in awhile. Once things get settled down a bit more, I'm going to try to post more regularly (don't you wish you had a dollar for every time I've said that?).

• We have a new addition! Four year old, Sadie, joined our family a couple weeks ago. She is a lab mix (probably) and is so well behaved. She is great with the kids! She is a sweet girl, who loves to cuddle and be by my side. Plus...she is housebroken! (I may never get a puppy again) We got her from a girl I went to high school with. Due to unfortunate circumstances, they needed to find her a new home (they had to move and couldn't have pets at their new place).

• I have been continuing crafting...and sewing! Yup! I have taught myself how to sew. I am working on hooded towels, robes, and blankets right now. I plan to open up an Etsy shop in the near future. So stay tuned!

• I finally got in to a pain management doctor (due to all the problems I've had since the car accident a year ago). He did a sacroiliac injection two weeks ago, in hopes it would relieve my pain. Well, it only helped a tiny bit (and made other pains apparent or worse), so I'm going for an MRI next week. I'm sort of hoping they find something because, otherwise, there isn't much that can be done, and this will probably be a chronic problem (insert sad face).

• We are buying a house! Yes, we will own our own home! And I do mean that we will own it. No mortgage! We are paying cash for it. It is a bit of a fixer-upper, but has lots of potential. We sort of stumbled upon it. We weren't planning on moving for at least another year or two, but after paying the rent last week we decided to move. Totally off track, but I feel like I should explain. When we first rented this place, it was a total dive. It took a whole month to get it acceptable to move in. Plus we've done numerous things since. We have always ran it by the acting landlord, who runs it by the owner (she is out of town and supposed to be incapacitated in some manner). Anyway, Sean rebuilt and put a new roof on the outbuilding. It was leaking horrible and rotting. The acting landlord approved it beforehand. Well, due to materials and labor, we ended up not paying rent for two plus months (anything we do they credit it to our rent). Apparently, the acting landlord never approved it with the owner first. So she was upset. So when we went to pay rent last week, the acting landlord had a list of "grievances" from the owner against us. Turns out, this supposedly incapacitated hag woman has a malicious side, and also too much time and not as incapacitated as it seems. To be honest, nothing on that list was a "legitimate" concern pertaining to renting. She was pissed that the flag blew off it's anchor and was lying on the ground (forgive me-I don't control the weather! We picked it up as soon as we saw it). She was angry about "trash being all over the yard"--umm, first it wasn't every where. Second, her neighbor's dog came over, knocked over the trash can, and tore into it. Sean picked it all up as soon as he saw it. She made it seem like we were in the process of condemning her house! So I went out and started looking for places. I can't wait to tell her to kiss my @$$. Bahaha! Try to find renters that are anywhere close to how good we have been!

• We probably won't get all of the paperwork and money stuff done on the house for a few more weeks. The house is about 15 minutes west from where we are. In a small itsy-bitsy, teeny tiny town that supposedly has 758 people. I'd be surprised if there were more than 200! The good news...We can get Internet! Yes!!! I will be able to get online on my computer! I will have no more excuses for being behind on posting pictures, etc. WOOT WOOT!


• I am no longer a blonde. Having been blonde my whole life (and never dying it until after Alice was born--roots got darker!), I have always contemplated going darker. Well, I finally did it...I'm a brunette! Not sure how I like it yet.

• Of course, it would be cruel to just say that without posting a picture, so here you go...

I'm sure there are a lot more changes, but those are the big ones. Other than the natives, but I owe them their own posts! For more leftovers, please go check out Danifred!

Friday Night Leftovers (The Catch Up Edition)

It has been awhile. Did I give you a heart attack? Or did you squeal with enthusiasm? Let's just get right to it today!

•I have been staying busy. Insanely busy. Cleaning, organizing, crafting, and of course taking care of the natives!

•I need to do Alice's birthday post. I have been having some difficulty with the pictures, as my brother took them and put them on my computer. Problem is, we don't have Internet here in the Bermuda Triangle. So I've been uploading them at my dad's using his wi-fi. I may look into one last option for Internet here.

•I am addicted to Pinterest! If you like to craft, cook, photography, design, etc. it is for you.

•I need to post about all of the DIY projects and crafts I have done and am doing. I made artwork for the walls. I made a cheese plate and cupcake/cookie platter. I am redoing some sconces. I made a "dry erase board". I made my own baby wipes. I repainted the swing set and am working on turning the area under the slide into a fort. I will need to learn how to use the sewing machine, so I can make curtains for it.

• Today Alice and I will make outdoor "lanterns". We also need to put together an adirondack chair. Well, I do. Alice will "help". I don't feel comfortable with her playing with power tools yet!

•Oh, and the most exciting part about this weekend? My sister is flying in tonight! WOOT WOOT! I'm the only one that knows about it. The kids and I are going to pick her up at 11:40 tonight. She will finally get to meet Harry! Tomorrow, we are going to my Dad's, so she can wake him up and surprise him. Then we will go to my brother's and I will have him help me get his "surprise" out of the car! So exciting!

• I also have quite a few recipes to share. Raspberry-lemon bars and potato salad, just to name a few.

•Oh and pictures. I need to show you how big the natives are getting!

•Wishing everyone a lovely weekend! Do you have anything planned?

For more leftovers, check out Danifred and all the lovely participants!

Life Has Gotten In The Way

*or I Suck!

My apologies. I have been so swamped with life that I haven't had time to blog. Not even about the really important stuff (Harry's month-aversaries, etc). To make a really long story short, Sean was on vacation, his cousin (whom I thought would be a big help) came to visit for a week, and then my dad fell and dislocated his hip.

So I have been working on getting Alice back into a "normal" sleeping schedule (we're back to 10:30 at the earliest--sigh!). I have also been making daily trips to my father's to bring him dinner and check on him. Having two grown men and two babies to take care of is exhausting. Throw in trying to officially "move in" to my house, that we've been living at for over two years now, and I have literally fallen asleep with stuff still to do (put up dinner--which has to be thrown out the next morning, dry laundry, even lock doors!).

I'm not looking for sympathy. I just need you to understand that I suck. And that I'm sorry! I know the world doesn't revolve around me, and I've missed quite a few of your exciting news. My apologies again. I will be posting in the next week a few "exciting" things--Harry's 5 month birthday, Alice's 2nd birthday, and a few DIY/crafty projects I have been doing! So please don't leave me! I blog because I love it, and also want to have a record of my children's doings. But I also blog because I love YOU, my readers! Miss you guys, and I will be back soon.

(Belated) Three Months

Harry turned three months on June 14. I'm late posting this, but better late than never, right? The pictures were taken on his month-aversary, so at least I managed that!

Harry rolled over back to tummy the week before he turned three months. He has only done this a few times. I'm pretty sure he is capable of doing it more often, but I don't give him nearly enough tummy time. We average twenty minutes a week. Oops! I just worry about Alice jumping on him or kicking him accidentally. This has happened a few times before, and I'd rather him be "delayed" in some gross motor skills, than have mush for brains. I've been trying to sneak more in, but lately he has just been kicking himself in circles or pulling himself across the mat.

Someone is a big fan of sitting and standing! In fact, he prefers to be sitting on a lap. He can "stand" for upwards to a minute before his legs give out.

Alice is the best toy ever! He stares contentedly and in awe of whatever his big sister is doing. I have been bathing them together when he needs a bath. This is a logistical nightmare, but much easier than doing them separately. I just bring jammies, diapers, lotion, the changing pad, and the bouncy seat in the bathroom. Harry watches while I wash Alice, and then we put his tub in the tub. Alice loves to help wash him and blows raspberries on his belly! Then we dry him off, lotion him up, diaper and jammies and he sits in the bouncy seat smiling and laughing as I wrangle Alice.

Speaking of smiles, this little guy's melt my heart! He is just the prettiest little boy and such a joy!

Harry has been sleeping through the night for quite awhile. Turns out sleeping babies are not just myths! We have this odd nights, but usually he goes 8 1/2 hours. Occasionally it will be longer. His record is about 10!

Harry loves the mama milks! He will take a bottle, but really likes it from the tap better. This makes me happy! And him too!

He started reaching for his toys and loves to grab his feet. He is a champion reverse ab cruncher! We have been wearing 3-6 month clothes for almost a month, and some of them are getting a bit snug (mostly in length). I have a feeling someone may be bigger than Alice by this time next year!

His favorite past-time is chewing and sucking on his fists and arm. Really anyone's arm will do. I am sure he will give me a hickey one of these days.

And now for monthly pictures!

Alice did not partake in this months pictures. She was having an epic tantrum, and wanted to be left alone. I'll see if I can get her to participate next month!

And these last two are to show what sweet smiles he has. They were taken about 2 1/2 months. Isn't he just the sweetest, prettiest baby boy?

Recipes (The Dessert Edition)

So I mentioned the chocolate cupcakes with Nutella filling and Nutella buttercream frosting the other day. I really want to throw my phone down and go eat a jar of Nutella, but I'll try to behave! This is a must for you Nutella nuts out there...and it is super easy!

Nutella Cupcakes
•package of cake mix (chocolate or yellow-or any kind you want. If you like Nutella and pineapple, go for it! Or make your favorite homemade cupcakes)
•whatever ingredients the cake mix calls for (probably 2-3 eggs, some oil, and water)
•Nutella (I used about 1 1/2 jars) divided
•2 sticks of butter/margarine
•2 cups powdered (confectioners) sugar
•2 tsp vanilla (I just poured some in, so it may have been more like 2 tablespoons!)
{I used a regular buttercream frosting recipe I had and just altered it a bit and added Nutella. I have no idea where the recipe came from, as so many buttercream frostings are similar}

Prepare cake mix according to box. Make sure to preheat oven beforehand! Divide batter among cupcake tins. Drop a bit of Nutella in the center (use as much or as little as you want). Bake and let cool.

Frosting directions:
Beat butter (best at room temperature) with 1 c (or more) Nutella. Mix in vanilla, and then powdered sugar. I'd put the powdered sugar in gradually. Taste and add more Nutella if you think you need it (I think I used 1-1 1/4 cups.) I never measure when cooking or baking (exception-cookies). Frost cupcakes when cooled off and enjoy! If you think that is too much Nutella, then don't fill the cupcakes; just frost them. The frosting is the best stuff ever! I could eat it by itself (I did!).

Another must make dessert (super easy!!!) is chocolate peanut butter pie. If you think peanut butter and chocolate are the best combo ever, please go make this. And don't feel bad if you don't want to share!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie*
•Graham cracker crust (already made or make your own with crushed Graham crackers and melted butter)
•1/4-1/3 c semi sweet chocolate chips
•3/4-1 c peanut butter (I used generic peanut butter with honey**)
•1 can sweetened condensed milk
•8 oz whipped topping, thawed and divided

Melt chocolate in microwave, stirring every 30 seconds. Mix in peanut butter. As I don't measure, I'm guessing here (I took about 3 heaping spoonfuls and then added a small dollop). Taste mixture. It should taste peanut buttery! Add more if it is not to your satisfaction. Mix in the sweetened condensed milk. Then mix in the whipped topping (about 3/4 of the container). The mixture should have a really thick consistency, but pourable. Pour filling into crust. Top with leftover whipped topping. Freeze for at least two hours, or overnight if you can handle the wait!

I can't keep the pie in the house. Sean eats it at breakfast, lunch, and dinner! I have made three since Sunday! Everytime I go to have a slice, it is gone.

Let me know what you think, if you try them! I'm pretty sure you'll think it is fantastic.

*adapted from an Eagle Brand recipe that Sean found.
**I use generic peanut butter with honey when baking or mixing it. I will not use generic for sandwiches or anything by itself--it tastes different, but when mixed with other things, I can't tell a difference!

How To Get What You Want

First, you have to be cute.

Next, you must have a Daddy*...

And finally, you need to have your Daddy wrapped around your little finger and willing to do anything to make you happy!

Like crawl around the yard playing horsey with you!

Or get you new kitties! (because the others ran off or got hit**)

And now you can love them, and hug them...

And keep them for your very own!

*In our house you must have a Daddy to get what you want. I hear other relatives may do this too, but it is just the Daddy in this house.
**Yes, Mortimer ran off and got hit. Just like Gretchen and Bruno. In pretty much the same spot.

I Love Him, But I Might Choke Him!

Sean is on vacation this week. Yay! I'm looking forward to having him around, and spending time together as a family.

I posted the other day about finally getting Alice into a routine and to bed earlier. You know how long I've struggled with that! Well I also mentioned that my fear was that having Sean around would throw that off...well, I'll be. ONE day of being home and he blows it to pieces!

Yesterday, I took Harry with me to pick up a few things before my dad came over. I returned about an hour later (at approximately 5pm) to find them both sleeping?! WTH? I woke Alice up (Sean can sleep-he worked 8pm-8am last week so I know he was dead tired). She fell back asleep while I was nursing, and I had to get her back up.

We ate dinner and dessert (chocolate cupcakes with Nutella filling and Nutella buttercream frosting--I'll share the recipe later!) and I threw them both in the bath. It was right before 9 when I got her into bed, and of course she wasn't tired. Jumping, screaming, and kept getting down and running around. Sean and my dad came inside about an hour later and I told Sean I was going to choke him if he let her nap that late ever again. To make a long story short, I found them playing on the bed an hour later! Grrr! Alice finally fell asleep about midnight.

So we woke her up at her new wakeup time. Of course we had a crabby patty! So bad, in fact, that I refused to go to church. I knew she was going to gave a meltdown and I sure didn't want it to be at our first church service! I got her down for a nap at noon, after dealing with an hour and a half meltdown about not being able to play with the water in the kitchen sink. I was able to convince her the bathtub was just as much fun after forty-some minutes. So she took a two hour nap.

Fast forward to tonight...I get her ready for bed, and Sean was going to read her a book and put in the movie afterwards. I come inside an hour later (I was mowing) and she is still up and climbing on him. He tried to blame it on me and letting her nap too long/late! So I kick him out and get her down in about twenty minutes.

So we went over the new "rules". No naps past four (which means she has to be up BY 4). If she is going to nap, I'd prefer an earlier one (noon-2 would be nice). Dinner by 7pm, play for a bit, bath, pjs, brush hair/teeth, get marty/blankie/drink, hop into bed, read a book, start a movie, and BE still and quiet! She should be out within 10-15 minutes once in bed.

Now you are my witness. Not only have I told him (you'll have to take my word on this), but I've now told the world. If he messes this up, then he is on Alice duty from 8pm on!

I'm hoping this is remedied by tomorrow, so he and I can actually have some kid free time. It has been months years since we have been "alone", minus two dates since Alice was born. I'm sure we will just look at each other in silence wondering what to do and talk about ::wink::

Friday Night Leftovers (The I'm Back Version)

It has been awhile since I've participated in FNL, or posted. Lately things are starting to look like I'll be a more active blogger. Woo Hoo! Please no one have a heart attack or anything.

• I'm back! I have missed a lot, and have missed sharing a lot with you. I have missed you all. I'll explain more later, but to make a long story short I really think I'm back for good!

• I went through a big rut and am finally feeling better. I had stopped my anxiety/depression medicine cold turkey for over a month, and turns out I just really need the stuff. Not thrilled to say that, but I've come to terms with it and have been back on it for a few days. I can already tell and feel a big difference!

• I think I have finally gotten Alice on a more normal schedule, at least the past three days. She has started not napping. I took that opportunity and started pushing up bedtime. Tonight she was asleep by 8! Egads!

• I quit blogging partly because I had no time that any kids weren't sleeping. I may have gotten 10 or 15 minutes here and there, but that isn't enough time to write a genuine post (at least for me). So now that I have come into a "lottery" of time in the evenings, I plan to start posting again. Yay!

• Harry (that is what I'm calling him--Sean calls him Jack) is now 3 months old. I took a picture that day and need to do a post about it. He is getting so big!

• Alice is 22 months! I can't believe she will be 2 in two months. I've been trying to think of a theme for her birthday. I've been thinking flowers/butterflies. I'm open to ideas, so please make suggestions.

• I found a local moms/playgroup. We have met up with them three times. Alice seems to enjoy herself, but seems a bit out of sorts too. I'm giving it some time. There is one little girl around her age and the rest are boys. The little girl's mom is expecting another baby girl any day now, so I may have to give it a bit more time. Alice and the little girl hit it right off, exchanging hugs and holding hands! We went to an indoor park on Wednesday and Alice had the time of her life! She played for over two hours, and that was the first night I got her down "early".

• The playgroup/moms go to a local church (which I have been wanting to check out for months) and we are planning on going to check out the service on Sunday. I don't feel pressure from them to come and join, though I do feel an internal pressure to further my relationship with God. I'm hoping we like the sermon. The age group rooms and nursery are awesome (they have pagers like you'd get at a restaurant, so you can actually sit and LISTEN to the sermon instead of bribing your toddler to sit down, be quiet, etc. and they page you if you need to check on your child) so I'm already in love with that aspect!

• I have so much more to say, but since I'm planning on being a faithful blogger (knock on wood the kids keep sleeping), I will save all of that for another day. Sean is on vacation next week, so I'm hoping to keep the routine I have just started, and that his presence doesn't blow it apart. Fingers crossed and positive vibes welcome :-)

For more leftovers, please visit Danifred and all the other participants!

One Day I'll Laugh About This

I was making Jenner's Braciola for dinner, when Alice came in the kitchen. She was bent down grabbing herself, announcing "pees". Before I could do anything, she turns around and I notice my worst nightmare! She didn't mean pee, folks!

I got her in the bathroom and set her on the potty. Then I set off in search of her pull-up. I found it. Behind the tv?! I also found a lot of messes in various rooms.

After getting her cleaned up, a new pull-up, and a movie going, I started to clean up these messes. A few minutes later, she comes up to me with no pull-up on (again!). So we sat back on the potty and put on a diaper this time. I know she will probably just take the diaper off too, but at least she doesn't have to "step out" of it.

I'm excited that she is starting to initiate potty training. I'm not thrilled with the prospect of a poop covered house everyday!

I know I'll laugh about this later, but right now I need to go figure out what is smashed raisins (from her snack) and what isn't! FYI, they look the same. Man, I'm going to need a drink tonight!

Catching Up

I've been absent for awhile. Maybe you noticed. It was bound to happen. I could feel it coming on. I just was so "burnt" out that I didn't even have the decency to let all of you lovely Internets know.

It started gradual. Posting every few days instead of daily. Then not posting, but still reading and commenting on your blogs. And then...well I took a hiatus.

I was feeling so overwhelmed and weighed down. I had a to-do list miles long and nothing was getting crossed off. I had hit the peak of the hormone drop (I did the same thing around this time with Alice too). I was just burnt out. I enjoy blogging and keeping up with each one of you. It just got to the point that it felt like more of a "chore" than something I enjoyed. My comments were hardly thoughtful, and were completely generic. I don't like being like that. I like being "me" and writing the things I would say. So I just took a complete break.

I played a lot with the kiddos. I got some things on my to-do list crossed off. I enjoyed the little bit of "me" time that I sometimes can squeeze in, and did whatever I felt like doing. I got some flowers, herbs, and veggies planted. I have mastered the perfect (to me) cranberry almond chicken salad.

So enough about that. Updates. Alice has had a horrible diaper rash/yeast infection for months. Every time she had a dirty diaper it would come back. I'd slather diaper cream and Lotrimin on her and it would clear up. Only to return with the next dirty diaper. So I took her back to the pediatrician (again) and demanded help. I was thinking it was strep. The doctor thought otherwise. So we started using a few different creams. I'm happy (albeit a bit annoyed I was wrong) that her rash/bumps are pretty much cleared up.

HJ is just the sweetest. He smiles and talks to me all of the time. And the giggles? My goodness. My heart explodes EVERY. TIME.

The chicks? Not so chick looking. We Sean put them outside the other day. I can't tell which one Fluffy is anymore. See for yourself how much they have grown in the past two weeks.

Two or three weeks old.

Three or four weeks old!

Four or five weeks old!

It may be hard to tell how much bigger they are because of the angle and zoom differences. Trust me. They are mini chickens now! And yes, I know they were before, but they weren't "chicken" looking.

One of my mom's pugs had puppies almost two weeks ago. Sean wants to get one. I'm struggling with this. I'm torn. I do want a puppy/dog. I just don't know if I want a pug. And if I want one soon. I already have a lot going on around here. I already deal with enough poop and mouths to feed (Alice, HJ, the cat, three rabbits, the chickens, and the chicks). Logically, it doesn't make sense. However, it does when I look at the big picture. I'm at home, so I'd be here to house train. I could house train before I potty train Alice. HJ isn't mobile (yet), so that makes the transition a bit easier. If we wait, then we'd be waiting at least a year or two. And who knows what life will be like then?!

Then the whole pug debate. I want another Staffy. That costs money, and quite a bit. The pug would be free (initially). Are pugs good with kids? That is my biggest priority, of course, followed by the hair. From what I've read, pugs shed heavily. I'm not too keen on that. So if you have any experience or knowledge on pugs, let me have it!

So I'm back! I'm not going to promise daily posts. I'm going to ease back into my groove. I do promise that if I ever need a break, that I will let all you lovely people know.

Two Months

I'm a few days late, but I wanted to include HJ's stats in his monthly update.

Our little man is getting BIG! He weighs 13 pounds 12 ounces and is 24 inches long. That is over half of Alice's weight! Which is a good thing, since she can be so rough with him.

We got half of his immunizations. We go back in two weeks for the rest. I can't imagine what all of them would have done. He was super fussy and slept from 6 pm to 2 am! He has been cranky today, so I gave him some Tylenol. He fell asleep shortly afterwards.

HJ is smiling all of the time now. His eyes appear to be getting more blue. He loves to talk to us.

He doesn't care much for tummy time, but isn't totally opposed to it. He will scoot himself around the activity mat and the crib. Last night he turned himself ninety degrees and moved two feet down.

HJ continues to be a good sleeper. We usually will go a stretch of five or six hours (we've gotten eight or nine a few times). When he goes that long, he typically nurses every hour and a half to two hours. He has gotten his days/nights mixed up the past week, so I have been up until 4/5 am. That makes for one tired mommy, as Alice gets up shortly after 9 (sometimes 10), but there is usually one or two feedings before that. I'm hoping the shots and his increased sleep will help get us back into the swing of things. The nights I bring him into bed with all of us, he does really well. He is super cuddly!

Now a few pictures (these were taken on his two month-aversary!).

The second picture is my favorite, but a bit blurry. Then there is the picture with Alice, whom likes to take her clothes off! My (not so) little man is just the cutest thing ever!

Mother's Day: The What I Would Like Versus What I'll Probably Get

I'm going to make this brief because I have both kids napping, and that is rare. So I think I'll take a shower.

What I would like for Mother's Day:

A good nights rest and to sleep in.
To wake up to an immaculately clean house.
A yummy breakfast, complete with coffee, fruit, pancakes, eggs, bacon and sausage.
To go by myself to the annual Derby Day festivities with my friends-and to have a beer!
A new Chariot with the bike and jogging packages.
Lots of flowers to plant!
A massage, pedicure, and facial.
To end the day with a hot bubble bath, with a bottle of wine, my Sarah McLachlan cd playing, and candles lit.

What I'll probably get:
A cup of coffee and a "Happy Mother's Day." (note I didn't put an exclamation point-this will be said with no enthusiasm)

What may occur:
I may get taken out to lunch after church.

What will most likely happen:
A typical day. Complete with changing lots of diapers, plenty of nursing sessions, dishes, laundry, cleaning, making dinner, and taking care of and entertaining our children. All after church, that I have to wake up three hours before hand, so I can shower and prepare the kids to drive an hour and a half there, and then juggle holding/feeding HJ while attempting to keep Alice quiet and sitting in her seat, rotating with chasing her down and bribing her with candy to come back and sit down.

I find it ironic that most mothers wish for time away and to themselves from the thing that gives them this day...their children. And I'm not implying that is anyway wrong, selfish, or whatnot. You deserve some time to yourself. So I hope that you get whatever it is that your heart desires on this special day. What would you like?

Struggling

I'm struggling. I have so much stuff that I need to do, and not enough time to do get it done. I feel like I'm caught in an undertow, and fighting for air!

It doesn't help matters that Alice is teething and cranky. Add in a horrible diaper rash, and yeast infection that requires constant changing and slathering on creams. Then I've got a little fuss bucket, whom does not like garlic, and a mommy who forgets those things. I have been up the past two days with a screaming, gassy baby. Poor little guy!

I probably wouldn't feel this overwhelmed if I had some sleep. I swear I get one asleep and the next one is getting up!

I hate Sean's new schedule. He has been leaving around midnight and getting home somewhere between 2-3. He almost immediately goes to sleep, gets up for dinner, and then goes back to sleep until he gets called in (usually around 10-10:30pm). This sucks! Unfortunately, I think this is how life will be for awhile.

And for those wondering, he does help out some. I just worry about him driving and falling asleep, so I try to enable him to get as much sleep as possible (try keeping a Daddy's girl quiet and away-she went in and threw a few of her toys at him today because he wasn't awake to play with her, and I was nursing). I think it is fair to say she is struggling with this new schedule too. Heck, Sean is also!

I have not had time to read (or comment) on many of your blogs. Please don't take it personally. I enjoy keeping up with everyone. I may only get to you every few days, but I'm reading (and lately doing one mass comment for all your posts-tacky, right?). I'm just doing what I can, when I can. So bear with me. I'm struggling with our new schedule here, and it has thrown me the biggest curve ball. This pitcher is good, but I'm determined not to strike out!

Our Newest Additions

Nothing quite says spring like babies. Any kind of babies. While I would be most thrilled with a puppy, and we will get one someday, I don't quite have the time for something like that. Ever since Bruno's death (he was our first baby-a Staffordshire Bull Terrier), we have been hesitant to bring another canine into our home. Ideally, once the kids are a bit older we will consider adding a new best friend. I'm hoping for another year or two!

So what did we get? Why, a bunch of chicks, of course! We currently have three hens and a rooster, and we needed/wanted a few more. So Sean and Alice went chick shopping! We were planning on getting 5 or 6, but I guess he had to buy at least 10. So we have ten baby chicks! If any of them are roosters, I'm a bit sad to say that their lives will be somewhat short. Though we would be doing them a much better disservice to put them in with the one we have now. He is large and beautiful, but oh so mean to other cocks. He was part of our original set, and he killed three others. We weren't sure which one was the "killer" as he was the smaller of the two we had left, and we were deciding which one to keep. I wanted to keep him, and Sean wanted the other one. Turns out I have a better knack for these things, as a day or two later we found the other rooster dead.

So enough about death. Let's see the chicks!

This was the box they came in. Way too small!

So Sean and Alice found them a bigger box! And moved them into our laundry room, so that we could care for them easier (I'm short and couldn't reach the food or water when they were in their original spot!). Plus now Alice can stand and watch them for hours! So far, she has tried to share her sippy cup and shoes with them.

This one is my favorite! S/he is so fluffy and fuzzy! I shall call him/her Fluffy. And Fluffy is, obviously, intelligent because Fluffy is doing the crossword! My kinda chick!

Friday Night Leftovers

Once again, another week has come and gone. Time for all those random thoughts in my head! As always, head over and see Danifred for more leftovers!

•Alice climbed a tree on Easter. It wasn't completely vertical, but she was 15-20 feet up in the air before Sean realized! They were mushroom hunting, and I guess he had put her down and was picking mushrooms. He said he heard some laughing, looked up, and there she was! He dropped his bag and climbed up to get her. Then all hell broke loose because she wanted to go all the way to the top (which was about 60 feet!). We are in serious trouble with this one, folks!

•I wake up everyday and wonder if this is the day that we end up in the emergency room. I pray that doesn't happen, but with Alice and her climbing, I'm sure that is where we will end up.

•The car is fixed! Sean got it done Saturday evening. Yay! My husband rocks!!!

•I'm so tired of hearing about the whole Obama birth certificate thing. I think the "analysts" are missing the most important point. That an 18 year old, Caucasian woman, had an African man's baby in 1961! Thank God she chose life!

•Furthermore, I'd appreciate if they start talking more about why I'm going to have to start selling kidneys on the black market to put gas in our vehicles!

•I found Alice helping herself to some chocolate cake yesterday. I had left it out on the stove, and she grabbed her spoon, stood on her tiptoes, and went to town!

•She also helped herself to a "bite" of my coffee this morning. "Mmm! Dats pwitty," she said! I didn't know she could say pretty. I also think I've confused her when I say something is "pretty good".

•Alice is teething. She has two that have broken through, and another two that should be here shortly. You know what that means...diarrhea, diaper rash, and yeast infections! Woohoo! Oh yeah, and all that crankiness stuff too.

•It has been raining here almost everyday. I love how it makes the grass a beautiful, lush green. Now if it would stop so we could mow our swamp, that would be splendid!

•I will get around to making the prizes for the winners from the "Guess when HJ will arrive and how big he will be game" and for yesterday's question, as well. The prizes will be baked goodies, and maybe a little something else thrown in!

•I am preparing to do a post about my favorite things. There will be a give-away for that. Whenever I get around to it!

•I still can't find the recipe for the filling from when I made the triple chocolate cupcakes. I did find a box mix that is a pretty good substitute (that is what inspired me in the first place).

And that is it for today! Wishing you all a lovely weekend! Remember to visit all the leftovers over the weekend!

I Wanna Talk About Me

I had asked if any of you had questions about me, and some of you did. So now I will answer a few of them. Let's talk about me! (First one to tell me who sang that song gets a "prize")


Megan asked, "what is your dream occupation? (including SAHM obviously) Where did you and Sean meet?"

I will probably do two separate posts on this down the road, as my answers are pretty long. My dream job changes all of the time. A few things I'd love to do/be (besides SAHM b/c I'm doing that and LOVE it) OB/GYN, math teacher, architect, private investigator, and a chef. The only job I can incorporate most of those things into is SAHM (minus the OB/GYN part, but I use myself as my patient there!).
Sean and I met at a bar/pool hall when I was 24. I had gone out with one of my girlfriends, and she and I were shooting pool. He came over and asked if he could play the winner. That was me! So I then proceeded to whoop up on him ;-) There is more to that story because we only dated about two weeks, and then I didn't see him again for two years, where we picked back up and the rest is history! (stay tuned-I'm sure you're wondering what happened!)

Tasha asked, "What did you do before you had the kids? How old are you?"

I'm not sure exactly what you are looking for here, Tasha ;-) Before I had kids, I would go out A LOT and shoot pool and drink beer! I would sleep a lot. There isn't a lot of that going on these days, but I don't regret that one bit. I worked at a bank doing processing (applying payments, deposits) and I was in charge of the account corrections. Ever get a notice that your account was credited/debited due to error in addition, extra (or missing) items? I did that stuff. Of course, I did this for awhile after Alice was born, until I was severanced in September.
I just turned 30 in December. Sean turned 40 in December. We are 9 years and 360 days apart (roughly-I didn't go back and count those days from that last year. It could be a leap year for all I know).

Carrie asked, "If you go on any vacation with anyone for 5 days - who would you bring and where would you go?"

This is another one that I could write a whole post on. I guess it depends on where I was going because it would change on who I'd take with me.
If I went to Ireland, I'd take my sister and Dad (and Sean). And aside from the obvious sight-seeing, I'd make it a point to hit every pub in the country ;-) We might need more than five days!
Hawaii-I'd take Sean. We'd go surfing, swimming, hiking, and all sorts of other stuff!
Alaska-Sean. We'd go fishing, hiking, and hunt polar bears and moose ;-)
Florida-I'd take the kiddos to Busch Gardens, Disney World, and the beach. Of course, this is the most likely to occur. We'd visit my aunt and stay a few days with her. We'd probably also visit Jen and Dibits on our way there or back (assuming they would want to see us!).

Danifred asked, "Where would you live if you could go anywhere? What was life like for you growing up?"

I think I'd live in North Carolina. It has a little bit of everything. Mountains, beach, and ocean. Of course, I wouldn't mind living in one of those huts in Bora Bora.

Life while growing up (I will do a post on this later) in a nut-shell: I have a twin brother and a younger sister. My dad worked nights for the majority of my youth and I didn't see him much. He had a bad temper and I remember being scared of him. My mom was a SAHM for quite awhile. She was a "good" mom for awhile, and after my Granny passed she completely quit caring. Of course, that didn't happen over night, and had been building for years. So I was forced to grow up at a young age. I was doing everyones laundry and cooking dinner, occasionally, by the time I was 9 or 10. I had to start doing that "regularly" by the age of 13. But I'll expand on that more later.

Is there anything else you would like to know, or for me to expand upon?

What A Morning!

I hope this posts. I wrote one yesterday, and I tried to publish it and have NO idea where it went. It wasn't even saved to my drafts!

I got everyone to bed earlier than ever last night. Everyone was asleep BY 9 pm! Except me. I stayed up until 1 am.

Around 2:30, I was awoken to Sean running into the room yelling, "How did he fall out of the swing?" I immediately jumped up and said, "What the hell!" Alice woke up during all of this, so we had two kids crying. Alice didn't want Sean to leave ("Daddee NOOOO bye!"). HJ only cried for a few minutes. I checked him out. No bumps or marks. He nursed for about twenty minutes and then went back to sleep. It took me an hour to get Alice back down. She HAD to have a cookie and a drink. I stayed up for awhile longer and kept checking on HJ.

He seems fine. He shows no signs of anything. No vomiting, etc. He has been sleeping a lot, though. I tried to figure out how he got out of the swing. We have it fully reclined, and it wasn't going fast enough to "launch" him out of there. I think he just plopped himself over the tray.

I checked on him again before going to sleep, and he was almost out again! Apparently he had kicked the tray up and was wiggling himself down. Good grief! I've got a Houdini! Now it is time to start buckling him in. I never in a million years would have thought I'd have to worry about this with a 6 week old!

(Just talked to Sean and this is what he said)
Sean said he was in the kitchen and he heard two thuds. He was in the bedroom before HJ started crying and picked him up. He thought Alice had thrown him out of the swing! Our best guess is that the first "thud" was him kicking the tray up and the second was him hitting the floor. I guess he was face down about two feet in front of the swing!

I'm planning on calling the pediatrician, as he seems fine, but I'm worried a little as he has been asleep since 8:30 (it is almost 1pm). I know the big thing to look for/worry about is vomiting, and we are okay there.

I'm just hoping he is fine. He seems to be, but I'm still a little worried. I'm glad babies are resilient. Sean "dropped" Alice (he says she rolled off of his chest) and she hit her head on the corner of the nightstand, within hours of getting home from the hospital after her birth! So we are no strangers to head "injuries".

Also today, I've had to wash one of the couch cushions and give Alice a bath. She had a blowout and got it all over the couch. Lovely!

Ahh, a day in the life ;-)

OOH, An Award!

So I have been bestowed my first blog award! Apparently, Jenner has been pulled into my mighty charismatic trap and thinks my blog has substance *wink*! Bahaha! So now I am required to share seven things about myself with you. And I won't cheat and use your questions from yesterday.

1. I am not scared of many things. I am scared of mushrooms. The ones you eat. The wild ones outside do not bother me. If a mushroom is in something, on something, or near something I'm eating then I will not eat that food. What if we get a pizza and they are on half, you ask? Nope. Still won't eat any of that pizza! Why, you ask. Because fungus has spores, and those spores have spread onto the other half. Do not try to convince me of anything otherwise. I am set in my way on this!

2. Sean also does not like mushrooms and will not eat them. I knew I would marry him when I found this out! Now I don't have to worry about getting spores from someone who has eaten a mushroom and then kisses me. Phew! Big sigh of relief!!!

3. I love pickles! Sean and I make our own pickles. Well I really make the "juice" and he helps. They are AWESOME!

4. I have a phobia of milk. I have not drank milk (with the occasional exception of Nesquik, which I put way too much on and make it really gritty) since I turned 6. Why? I walked in on my dad nursing on my mom after my sister was born. "He was hungry," they said. My mom asked me about how I can nurse, if I'm so terrified of milk. Breast milk is different. Plus, I don't see it when nursing. The smell of milk makes my stomach turn. I will use it for baking/cooking. And don't ask me the logic behind seeing someone drink breast milk and quit drinking cows milk. I was six!

5. My favorite band of all time is Counting Crows.

6. If I could live at any different period of time, I would choose the sixties/seventies. I would have made an awesome hippie! I'm a "modernized" hippie. Not into all of that "love" crap from back then (whatever floats your boat-I'm happy being monogamous), but I'm all for peace, love, and joy! Plus simplicity!

7. I have never been a big chocolate fan, but I have been dying for anything chocolate/peanut butter! Whoever thought that combo up is a genius!

Now I get to bestow this award on to seven lucky people. In no particular order:
Jen
Lindsay (if she ever does another post! *hint hint*)
Shannon
Lisa
Danifred
Tasha
April

Friday Night Leftovers (Take Two)

I'm really irritated. I was almost done with my leftovers when Blogger had to refresh, and I lost them. ARGH! I'll probably forget half of what I wrote the first time, but here we go...

•Happy Earth Day, on this Good Friday. Not only did Jesus die for our carbon transgressions, but also for all of our sins.

•As I was playing with HJ and watching him smile at me, I thought how happy I am that I'm not God because if I had to give up my son to save all of mankind, you'd all die and go to hell.

•I am incredibly exhausted. I have gotten three to four hours of sleep each of the past few nights. Consequently, I have been nodding off nursing and anytime I'm sitting.

•Want to know how exhausted I am? I changed HJ's diaper the other day. I then put him down, threw the diaper away, grabbed him and changed his diaper. A little bit later, I was wondering how Alice's diaper could be leaking?! Gee, I wonder!

•Do you know that breast pads don't work when you put the absorbent side away from you? Twice I have done that this week, and woken up soaking wet and in a puddle of breast milk.

•My mom made a comment the other day (in reference to having my hands full) that if I had a third I'd just be depressed. Umm, no. I might go crazy from the chaos, but I wouldn't be depressed. That explains why she was a crappy mother...at least until she just quit parenting.

•When I told Sean about what my mom said, he agreed that that explains everything. Then he went on to say that anyone who has more than two kids is selfish. We should just repopulate ourselves. WTH?! I think this comes from his parents (he and his sisters spent the majority of their youth with other relatives and apart from each other) and their lack of involvement, love, etc.

•HJ is now rolling both ways from tummy to back, and can use his forearms to lift himself up. He's grounded! Growing up too fast is now a mandatory grounding!

•We are forecasted for thunderstorms for the next week. Why don't you just pee in my Wheaties too, Mother Nature?

•Thank you for all of your suggestions yesterday! I will be trying them out and seeing what works. I'll update soon :-)

•I realize a lot of you really don't know a lot about me. I know I'm usually talking about the kids (they're mine and I like talking about them), but there is more to me than mom-dom. Is there anything you'd like to know?

For more leftovers, visit Danifred! Wishing everyone a Happy Easter!

Help Me Out

I'm going to start a new thing. It may not be weekly, but it will be an occasional thing. Help Me Out will be where I ask you some questions, and you can humor me and help me out!

Jack (that is what I'm calling him this week *wink*) has been a horrible napper lately. He will fall asleep nursing and wake up immediately upon putting him down. He takes cat naps. Ten, maybe twenty minutes if I'm lucky. In order to get him to take a good nap during the day, I have been putting him in bed with Alice and me, and nursing him until he falls asleep. Then he will sleep for about three hours, BUT only if I'm lying next to him for a good part of that at the beginning. So I usually end up taking a nap for an hour or so (much needed!). I then put him in the bassinet, which I warm up with a heating pad so it feels like I'm still there for a bit. Any ideas on getting him to nap better and quit falling asleep at my breast? I don't swaddle him, but maybe that would help. He does well at night mostly. I put him in the swing, and he will go anywhere from 3-5 hours with the occasional longer stretch.

Alice, also, has been napping/sleeping poorly. She has been getting about 8 hours of sleep at night, and a two (sometimes three) hour nap. She really needs more like twelve hours of sleep a day. She will fall asleep for twenty to thirty minutes, and then be up for a few hours before actually napping (which means she goes down later than I'd like) and the same thing at bedtime. Tonight she went to bed with Sean (about 9:30) so I'm hoping she will stay asleep until morning. I think me lying in bed and being awake is what is interrupting her sleep. If Sean is here, I can stay out if the room until I'm ready to sleep, but if I'm the only one here, she won't stay in bed unless I'm right there with her. Any ideas for her?

Stoned

I'm laughing thinking about how many hits on google this post could get. Especially considering what day it is!

No, I'm not stoned. I sure feel like it though. We had awful storms last night (80 mph winds!), and Alice didn't go to sleep until 2am! Not because of the storms, but because she has been staying up later and later every night, and getting up later each day. I've allowed this because it gives me a chance for some extra sleep, but no more!

I got her down at 2, and then went to the grocery store. It couldn't wait. We needed toilet paper! And food because why waste a trip? I got home around 3:20 and put everything up, washed my face and brushed my teeth, and headed to sleep about 4. No sooner had I gotten settled and HJ woke up. So we did the whole routine, and got to bed at 5:30. 8 o'clock rolls around, and someone was hungry! Got back to sleep thirty minutes later, and then everyone was up around 10. Ugh! I'm exhausted!!! This is especially cruel because HJ had slept 7.5 and 8.5 hours the past two nights, so I was "used" to getting some sleep. I have gotten a few really big smiles from a cute toothless guy, so it is all worth it!

Today is also Alice's 20 month-versary! Twenty months on the twentieth! Is that kind of like a princess birthday? It is hard to believe she will be TWO in four months! My goodness, time flies by! Since I haven't posted her monthly updates in awhile, I'll do one today.

Alice has started talking more. She had stopped using most of her words when I started staying home, so I'm glad she is starting to communicate a little more.

Words she is now using regularly:
Pee
Dog (sounds like daw)
Bunny (bunh)
Ball (baw)
Bite (she uses this for sips of my drink as well-too cute!)
Bath
Bolt (bote-this is her most favorite movie!)
Swing (swee)
Yea (finally answering yes occasionally!)


So a lot of those words sound the same and some people may say she isn't saying new words, but I can tell a difference in what she says and know what she is trying to say.

New things this past month:
Somersaults
"reading" all of the time
Loves to do laundry (throw stuff in washing machine or dryer and close the door/lid)
Can lock doors!
Can throw a ball correctly
Loves to feed the chickens (instead of watching)
Loves tools and "helping" Daddy on the car (future mechanic?)
Puts things back where they go (or where she thinks they should go!)

And there is probably more, but I'm not functioning too well!

Happy Twenty Month-aversary, my sweet Alice!

Quick Update (Random Bullets)

I wrote a long post yesterday, but never got around to posting it. I'll try to finish it soon because I think it is funny. It was titled "The Day I Almost Peed Myself".

Bring on the bullets!

•The cat got into Sean's ice fishing stuff. He pierced his lip with a lure. We have a few options: Attempt to take it out ourselves, while one person gets (most likely) clawed to death holding him (that would be me!) and the other person work it out. Take him to the vet, get him sedated, and let them do it (safest option for all involved, though $$). Wait and see what happens (this is Sean's favorite). Don't worry, he can eat/drink just fine. Just don't touch his lip piercing because he gets a tad bit irritated.

•HJ had his one month well-check yesterday. He weighs 11 lbs 11 oz, and is 22 3/4 inches. I think someone was off about his length somewhere in the past month. He is in the 98% for weight and like 90% for height. Big boy!

•The car is still not fixed. Sean has it in the car and about 90% done. Yay!

•We need new CV joints, rotors, and a battery. Sean blew up the battery, rusted the rotors from having the wheels off, and noticed the CV joints need replaced when installing the engine. So we would need to replace the CV joints, but everything else...ugh!

•My mom took us to the appointment yesterday. Her driving scares me!

•I got my last severance check. Thankfully it got us through the times when Sean didn't have any income coming in. Now the rest is up to him! I can file for unemployment, but I'd have to apply for jobs, so I'm not sure about that. I guess I could collect it, and then if someone offers me a job (which I'd turn down b/c we are planning on me staying home for the next 3-5 years), I'd no longer be able. Is that wrong to collect it, when I'm not really looking for a job? I wouldn't be like the babysitter and "pretend" to apply for jobs. I would. Thoughts? Be honest.

•I haven't had time to blog lately. Have you noticed? I've been looking for that rare and coveted "me time" but haven't had any luck. I just wanted everyone to know we are all alive and doing well ;-)

And there is so much more I could say, but I need to swap out laundry, put Alice's clothes up, start dinner, and pick up before HJ and Alice wake up. I have been trying to keep up with all of you. I may not be able to comment on every one of your posts, but know I'm reading them! And if anything big happens, please let me know! I can't guarantee I don't occasionally miss a post.

One Month

Today is Harold Jack's one month Birthday! Time is flying by! I'm grounding him because I'm not having any of this growing up business!

The past month has been so wonderful. HJ has fit right in to our family very nicely. Alice is getting better with him each and every day. Though she still loves to climb into the bassinet, regardless whether he is in it or not!

HJ is just the sweetest, most calm and laid-back baby. He hardly cries unless he is hungry. He sleeps! He seems to have gotten his days and nights back. He goes down around 11:30-midnight and sleeps until 5 or 6, gets up to eat, and goes back down until 10-11. Such a sweetheart! I'm hoping his schedule stays like this, but I know it will probably change.

HJ has rolled over twice now. The first time at 3w2d and the second time two days later. He only goes from his tummy to back (and from his left side).

He takes the occasional bottle of pumped milk, which is nice for future occasions and when Mommy needs a bit of a break.

We have each gotten a real smile out of him. That just melts my heart! His one month appointment isn't until Monday, so I don't know his height/weight yet, but I will update then. I know he has grown quite a bit because he feels heavier, and he has been nursing almost constantly during the day!

And now his one month picture!

Happy One Month Birthday, my little man! Mommy, Daddy, and Sissy love you very much!

Harold Jack's Birth Story

I have been working on this for almost four weeks, and am finally done!
*****************************************************

I had a feeling on Friday, March 11, that I would be going into labor soon. I remember telling Sean on the phone that I wasn't going to make it through the next week! He thought I was referring to taking care of Alice. Ha! Nope, my dear, this baby will be here soon.

Of course, he thought I was just tired and cranky, but I could tell. How? I had a tingly sensation in my head (hormones-I got them a few days before Alice was born, and get them from time to time before I ovulate or start my period) and I felt like being left completely alone. Alice was driving me nuts that evening, and she was just watching a movie! My sister called too, and I just didn't want to talk. I told her I wasn't feeling well and (I think) wanted to be left alone. So not like me.

So Saturday rolls around, and I got sick that morning. I decided to still go to my prenatal massage because nothing would make me go into labor, unless it was time. I remember having some cramps in the drive there. I relaxed and enjoyed my massage. As soon as it was over and I got up to get dressed, the cramps returned but were stronger and a bit painful.

I got home and took a nap. When I got up, the cramps returned. I needed to go pick up some prescriptions, so Alice and I headed into town. We didn't make it before the pharmacy closed (missed by four minutes!). I realized on the drive there, that my "cramps" were getting stronger, and I had three (it is a 10 minute drive). So I opened up Contraction Master on my phone and started timing. Sure enough, they were contractions! We got home, and I threw something together for dinner and went to sit down. The contractions were irregular, lasting around 30 seconds and anywhere from four to twenty minutes apart. I called my brother and let him know that he was on-call for the night.

After dinner and Alice's bath, I had Sean get her settled for bed, and I went outside to walk. I didn't want to have days of prodromal labor like I had with Alice. Days of painful contractions, no more than twenty minutes apart, really take a toll on you! I walked up and down the driveway, and even through the yard. The contractions slowed down and spaced out. So I went inside and took a hot shower. I was hoping they would pick back up, but they didn't. So I went to bed.

I got up several times, still having minor contractions, but was able to go back to sleep. About 7 am, they were getting uncomfortable and I couldn't sleep anymore. So I got up and started walking around. I called the after hours number and left my number for the ob to call. I had Sean go into town to get prescriptions and a few things. That was around 8:30. I told him to hurry back because I was having trouble coping through some of them. Alice woke up and I fixed her breakfast.

I hopped into the shower, while she was eating, and this time they didn't stop or slow down. Sean called and told me the pharmacy didn't open until 10 am, and he'd be home right afterwards. So I called my brother and let him know what was going on. That we would be going to the hospital at some point, and I'd keep him informed.

I went to the bathroom where I noticed I lost a large portion of my mucus plug and had some bleeding. Sean called and said he was on his way home. I told him what was going on, and I guess he over reacted a bit because I noticed him flying down the road with hazard lights on, going about 80!

He ran in and started rushing around. What a contrast to being in labor with Alice. I had to threaten to kill him for hours before he agreed to go to the hospital! I told him to calm down. We had awhile left. I finished packing a few things for the hospital, and then packed a bag for Alice, along with snacks, juice, and books. Sean packed up the car, and I finally talked to my doctor. I told her I had been having contractions regularly since 7 (it was after 11 at this point). They were lasting 30-50 seconds, and 1:30-3 minutes apart. She told me to head to the hospital. I went to the bathroom before we left, and noticed a lot more mucus plug and bloody show. So we headed to the hospital. I called my brother en route, and he was to meet us there.

Sean took a different route to the hospital, an asked if we had time to grab some food. I was starving, so we pulled into a McDonald's. We got our food, and headed towards the hospital. We got there around 1 pm, and headed up to Labor & Delivery. They got me in a triage room and had me put on a gown. The nurse checked me, and I was 3 cm and about 50% effaced. Normally, you have to be 4 cm to be admitted, but my ob came in and said to admit me. So they moved us to a huge delivery room (it was for twins). After hooking me up to the monitors and starting an IV line, I was able to walk around for 40 minutes every hour, with 20 minutes of monitoring.

My dad, brother, and Alice were still at the hospital and they came back to visit for a bit. I will never forget the look on Alice's face. She looked confused and concerned...and yet, in awe of everything! Alice, my dad, and I did a few laps while they were there. I had to stop with every contraction, and Alice kept rubbing my leg. It was so sweet! They left about 3 to get her a nap.

My walking laps and being monitored continued for a few more hours. My contractions were getting increasingly painful, and if I wasn't up walking around (actually bending over, kind of squatting) through them, I had a really hard time getting through them!

At six, my new nurse came in and offered me an epidural. I told her I wanted to see where I was at, and then decide. I was STILL 3 cm and about 80% effaced. So in four hours of walking, it did nothing. I told her I'd wait a bit longer, but they were starting pitocin, so I didn't know how long I'd be able to hang on.

They started pitocin about 7pm, and I was pretty confined to the bed (or bathroom) at that point. I hung in there for several hours before I couldn't take it anymore. I asked for an epidural, and at 10:30 the anesthesiologist came in. This was the worst experience of my life! She used the lidocaine shot, but didn't wait for it to start working before starting to put the epidural in. So I'm bent over the table, holding on to my nurse's hands and I can feel the whole thing. At some point it just felt like pressure, so the lidocaine had started working. Of course, during this I'm having the longest and strongest contraction yet. So I'm breathing (barely), tears were streaming down my face, and the nurse was trying to help me cope. She kept apologizing under her breath for the dr not waiting for everything to numb. The epi was finally in, and was started. Of course, it didn't take very well. My right side was numb, but I could feel hot points on my left side. Which didn't surprise me, since I felt the epi go in and it was more on the right side of my spine. Plus she put it up a bit higher than normal. So what does the dr do? Just keeps giving me more drugs in the line. Which eventually makes my left side numb too. Of course, it was too much and having to lie almost flat didn't help. It soon traveled up to my chest, and I started having an anxiety attack. Do you know what it feels like to have to cough, but not be able to because everything is numb? Scary! So I elevated the bed and after an hour or so, I could start to feel my chest.

I was checked a little after midnight, and I was almost 4 cm and 80%. I was getting frustrated. I just tried to relax and played some games on my phone. Sometime between 1:15-1:20, I heard a "pop" and what "felt" like there was fluid by my legs (I was still really numb, so to feel anything was weird). My nurse came in a few minutes later, and I asked her to check me because I thought my water had broken. I was right, my water had broken and she said there was some meconium. Great. Now if I had been anxious before, that was nothing compared to how I felt now! She did an internal and I was now 7cm! Woo hoo! I woke Sean up a little after this time and told him the party was going to be starting soon, and to give him a heads up about the meconium.

She went off to notify the Nicu that they would need to be there at delivery, and to call my ob. A little after 2 am, Stacy (my nurse-who was the best ever!) came in to check me (I was almost complete) and let me know it wouldn't be an "intimate" delivery, as a lot of people would be there, in case he had any complications. My epidural was wearing off on my left side and I was getting hot spots, so they gave me another bolus. Great more numbness!

Around 2:30 am, I started feeling pressure and let Stacy know. I was almost complete, but had a bit of cervical lip left (had this with Alice too-they just flipped it). So we waited for my doctor.

She got there about 2:45 and checked me. I told her she would probably have to flip the lip, and she smiled and did. Then we had to wait for the Nicu team. They came in right before 3 am, set up, and got called to another room! My doctor and Stacy were a bit peeved! Couldn't it wait? His head was literally right there! My contractions were moving him down and at this rate he would just slide out!

So they came right back. I started pushing at 3:05. Two contractions later, Harold Jack was born at 3:08 am, weighing 9 pounds (actually 8lbs15.6oz), 22 inches, and head circumference of 14cm.

It felt like minutes before I heard him cry, but Sean said it was almost immediate. Sean cut the cord, and followed him to get suctioned. Then they brought him to me. He was absolutely beautiful! Dark hair, chubby cheeks...just perfect! After a few minutes, they whisked him off to get cleaned up and then brought him back to me. I started nursing him, and he went to town!

We had to wait about two hours before they moved us, as I still couldn't feel or move my legs from that last bolus (which I don't think I needed, but who knew it would be so soon after?!).

Once we got to our room, I immediately was given some pain medicine along with a turkey sandwich and some other stuff. I'm pretty sure it was an awful sandwich, but it tasted amazing! Funny how hunger is the best seasoning!

About 7 am, I managed to get a bit of a nap in. I'm glad I did because visitors started pouring in around 10 am. Did they think that I slept six hours and was well rested? Luckily, I managed a shower before that, and Sean went home to get cleaned up and feed the animals.

When my brother and SIL brought Alice, I just started bawling! I had missed her terribly. She and I had never spent that much time apart, let alone an overnight! Plus the look on her face! Excitement, happiness, and concern. She was glad to see me, wondering why I was in this totally awesome bed with buttons, and wait...what is that? A BABY! "Beebee!" And the tears started flowing again! I got her in bed with me and hugged and kissed her, and introduced her brother to her.

I was a bit disappointed that we didn't get family time with Alice before everyone came. That was my original plan. To introduce her, and the four of us have a little time together. It all worked out. We had all evening together and the next day!

Harold Jack was unnamed until the last hour (or less) that we were at the hospital. We had a name picked out that second day (Charles Walker), but when I told my sister she said "Chuck Norris, Walker Texas Ranger" and I immediately nixed it. I have always loved the name Harold Jack (how could you not like the way it flows!), plus my grandfather was named Harold and my other grandfather was John (nickname for Jack). I had given up on the name long before we knew HJ was a boy. So when Sean came in and suggested it that last day, I was surprised to say the least! So that is how HJ became Harold Jack!

Oh The Love!

I am just so in love with HJ, Alice, and Sean. It is amazing how adding a new little person can intensify the love everyday for everyone!

I worried while pregnant if I would love this little man as much as I love Alice. Without a doubt, I do, and it happened so much "quicker" than after Alice was born. Not to say I didn't love her immediately-I did! I just think my heart grew a million times more that day, so it just felt like that.

I'm really wondering how my body can contain my heart. It feels like it grows exponentially everyday!

Friday Night Leftovers

Another week done! Time for all my random thoughts.

•Sean let the cat in the breezeway last night. He was stuck in there and there is no litter box in there (it is in the barn). So he pooped in there. I don't know where the poop is, so I'll let Sean deal with it. I deal with enough poop around here anyways :-)

•Oh and Mortimer's leg/foot is fine. I meant to mention that last week. I don't think it was broken because he was walking/jumping just fine a few days later.

•Alice is fascinated with watching me pee. (working on introducing potty training-still a LONG ways away from starting) which is a good thing because she knows what pee is now. Now just to get her to realize when she is peeing!

•Apparently I should have titled this the "Potty Version"! I promise, no more pee or poop in this post!

•I have been craving chocolate like never before! Which is a big deal because I have rarely craved chocolate.

•I was having really sharp pains on my left ovary the past week or so. The other day it was almost constant. I think I may have ovulated, but I guess time will tell. I also have a HUGE zit on the left side of my chin, which leads me to believe I did ovulate from my left side (if I did). And I hardly ever get zits.

•Both kids were up until 2 am last night. I swear they were waiting up for Sean.

•I totally snapped at Sean this morning. I was exhausted. I had already nursed HJ for almost two hours (not straight), and hadn't had any coffee. Both babes were screaming and crying and he was on me about calling to get reports/bills for the attorney. I just lost it and told him to shut up. Alice came in and looked shocked (we hardly ever argue/fight/raise our voices)! Oops!

•Then he said that we need to discuss, "getting his balls chopped off." I told him I wasn't sure that I wanted to be done, but that I wasn't sure I wanted anymore kids either. I said I wanted to wait a few years before making that decision. Then he said he wanted me to be done and spoil the two we have. Obviously he and I have to talk about this more. I want him to wait on a vasectomy. I'd prefer to use birth control. I just don't want to use anything with hormones until I'm done breastfeeding...which will be at least a year. We didn't use any birth control after Alice (I felt the same way), but we knew we wanted the next close in age-got pregnant when Alice was 9 1/2 months. So I figure I really have to be careful! What did you do for birth control after giving birth?

•I haven't decided what I'm going to call Harold Jack (I just refer to him as HJ because it is shorter, but I don't call him that). I've been going between Harry and Jack. So if I start referring to him as something besides HJ, don't be confused.

•The other day HJ rolled over during tummy time! Well, Alice pushed him at the very end, but he was almost all the way over. I uploaded a video to YouTube. You can see Alice "help" him. I've watched it several times and am pretty sure he would have gone the rest of the way by himself. You can see it here

I think that is enough for tonight! Head on over to see Danifred for more leftovers!

How Do They Do It?

Who knows if you'll ever see this post. My blogger app hates me, and thinks you do not want to see what is going on. Maybe it is feeling neglected since I haven't been posting daily?

How do single parents do it? While I'm not technically a single parent, I am a single parent for 5-6 days out of the week. Sean works at least twelve hours a day, and with commute time and lunch that is at least 14-15 hours. This week he has been going to Chicago and leaves the house by 9:30 am doesn't return home until 1-2am. Then my father likes to walk out of work and talk to Sean, so that ties him up even longer. I swear, I think my father thinks they are married! They see more of each other and talk more than Sean and I do! No worries, I will be discussing this "after hours" party with both of them this weekend.

Basically, it is all me, all day. I do not get a break. Granted any SAHM doesn't get a break, and they are always "on-call", but at some point a spouse shows up. They can help out with baths and bedtime. Then they can have some adult time and conversation. Me? I don't get that. I have seen Sean for maybe 45 minutes all week. We have resorted to catching up on his break (which is difficult when being distracted with two babes!). The sacrifices we make...

It is rough being home all day with a toddler and a newborn. I'll be glad when my car is fixed. Then we could at least go grocery shopping and to the park. You know, get out of the house!

Plus I would kill for some help. Just for a couple of hours a week! Unfortunately, that isn't a possibility. My mom says she will help but only if I go there. The drive here is "too much". So that isn't any help. How can I get anything done around here, if I'm not here?

So how do single parents do it? Do they have help? What about the ones that don't? Those poor, tired parents! At least I get a break for a few hours a week when Sean is here. And today he got up with HJ and changed him and gave him a bottle that I pumped! Which was a life saver because I had only gotten about 2 1/2 hours of sleep (actually naps) at that point!

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being able to be with them 24/7. The good greatly outweighs the not so good. I just really would like a break occasionally. And a good nap! I really think having twins would be easier than a toddler and newborn. Of course, Carrie had a toddler AND twins, so how did you do it? Give me advice, tips, or whatever!

Bad Mommy Moments

Let me begin this by saying no one is perfect. Not me. Not you. Not that beautiful, athletic, not a hair out of place, happy, cheery, always smiling, seems to be perfect mom. So I'm not really looking for a "don't feel bad" or "it's not your fault" kind of thing. What follows will be stories for posterity, an FYI, and possibly future guilt trips (for me, from my kiddos!).

Anyone that has had a newborn knows how rough it is. The almost constant sleepy daze is killer. Add in a toddler, and your chances of "sleeping when baby sleeps" is pretty much nil. So it is no wonder that many mamas suffer from "mommy brain". Not only do I suffer from mommy brain, but I also (apparently) have a lack of brain function in general (I.e. Thinking, problem solving, etc.).

Saturday, Sean got called in to work (yay for finally working and getting $-boo to him having to work on a weekend!). My dad ended up coming up (along with my uncle and aunt, but they were only here maybe 45 minutes). He left a little before 5pm to go get KFC for dinner and to pick up a few things at the store for me. While he was gone, I decided to go feed/water the animals. HJ was asleep in the bassinet, and Alice was occupied with some grapes and a movie. So I slipped out really quickly. I only had to give the rabbits water (Sean did everything else-but never gives the rabbits water!). I then head back inside. Except I can't get inside. And Alice is at the door waving at me. Crap! She locked the door. So I go to the car and grab a rewards card (cc thing) and head back to "break in". I managed to almost open the door, when she pushes a step stool over to the door, reaches up, and turns the deadbolt! Noooooooo! So I proceeded to try to get her to turn it the other way. Ha! She proceeded to stick her tongue out, laugh, and then start licking the trim on the door (pretty sure there is lead in that paint), so I start shouting at her to stop!

I walked around the house to see if any windows were unmatched. Nope. I'm not surprised. I'm pretty anal about all locks being locked. Then I hear HJ screaming and crying. So I try the front door. I went and got a hammer and pounded in the door until the slider lock came undone. Then I started trying to work the card in to the door to open it. After a few minutes, I decided to wait until my dad got back (he has a spare key to the house). But then I see HJ grab a burp cloth and pull it on his face. And then he stops crying. So I start panicking, thinking he is smothering himself. So I start using the card again. I almost had it, when the wind catches the storm door and slams into me. I literally smashed through the door (it is mostly glass). As I'm getting my wits about me and grab the burp cloth off of HJ, and make sure he is breathing, I realize I'm bleeding all over the floor. So I wash my hands and discover cuts all over. Most were superficial, but one was pretty bad. I grabbed a hand towel and wrapped my hand up. I grab the baby, and go to get Alice. And see my dad walking up. Seriously! If I had waited two or three more minutes, we could have used a key to get in. Instead of me acting like some stunt double. So he takes the baby and calms him down, while I put bandages on, and start cleaning up glass. I had to change the one bandage four times! And I think I probably should have gotten stitches, as it is pretty deep, and I'm sure I'll have a scar. It took about an hour to clean up all of the glass, mop, and put plywood over the outside (until we get new glass).

Lessons learned: keep a spare key outside, never underestimate your child (she had never locked the door before, and she goes and licks BOTH locks!), and do not leave anything around baby/bassinet that they could inadvertently get to.

Then yesterday, Alice and I were getting ready to go to the store. I brought HJ outside in his car seat, as Sean was working on the car. The monitor doesn't work at that part of the yard for whatever reason. I got the stroller out, and put the car seat in it, covered him with a blanket, and put a bottle I just pumped. I was putting Alice in the truck when Sean started yelling for me. I ran over and he was picking HJ up off the ground! WTH? Turns out the wind blew the stroller over (it is 26lbs plus the car seat and HJ, so we're talking at least 40 lbs!) and HJ tumbled our. He was fine, thank God! No bumps, bruises, or anything. He was crying, but that was because he was startled-can you blame him?

Lessons learned: always buckle baby in car seat (or whatever), don't put Your child in anything that could topple over.

So no one was hurt (well me, but whatever) during my bad mommy moments. I apparently need some more sleep, and some more brains. I would love to say there will never be anymore, but I'm sure there will be. I just hope and pray that no one gets hurt.