Thursday, April 7, 2011

How Do They Do It?

Who knows if you'll ever see this post. My blogger app hates me, and thinks you do not want to see what is going on. Maybe it is feeling neglected since I haven't been posting daily?

How do single parents do it? While I'm not technically a single parent, I am a single parent for 5-6 days out of the week. Sean works at least twelve hours a day, and with commute time and lunch that is at least 14-15 hours. This week he has been going to Chicago and leaves the house by 9:30 am doesn't return home until 1-2am. Then my father likes to walk out of work and talk to Sean, so that ties him up even longer. I swear, I think my father thinks they are married! They see more of each other and talk more than Sean and I do! No worries, I will be discussing this "after hours" party with both of them this weekend.

Basically, it is all me, all day. I do not get a break. Granted any SAHM doesn't get a break, and they are always "on-call", but at some point a spouse shows up. They can help out with baths and bedtime. Then they can have some adult time and conversation. Me? I don't get that. I have seen Sean for maybe 45 minutes all week. We have resorted to catching up on his break (which is difficult when being distracted with two babes!). The sacrifices we make...

It is rough being home all day with a toddler and a newborn. I'll be glad when my car is fixed. Then we could at least go grocery shopping and to the park. You know, get out of the house!

Plus I would kill for some help. Just for a couple of hours a week! Unfortunately, that isn't a possibility. My mom says she will help but only if I go there. The drive here is "too much". So that isn't any help. How can I get anything done around here, if I'm not here?

So how do single parents do it? Do they have help? What about the ones that don't? Those poor, tired parents! At least I get a break for a few hours a week when Sean is here. And today he got up with HJ and changed him and gave him a bottle that I pumped! Which was a life saver because I had only gotten about 2 1/2 hours of sleep (actually naps) at that point!

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being able to be with them 24/7. The good greatly outweighs the not so good. I just really would like a break occasionally. And a good nap! I really think having twins would be easier than a toddler and newborn. Of course, Carrie had a toddler AND twins, so how did you do it? Give me advice, tips, or whatever!

7 comments:

HereWeGoAJen said...

Me too. Matt works so much that I basically do all the house and the childcare. I do know that I wouldn't be able to handle working and doing this, so I am grateful. My only advice is routine and trying to stay caught up. Those are the only things that help me. It's impossible with a newborn though, you just have to try and keep your head above water.

LOG said...

That's rough. Even though John doesnt' work that much, I still do 85% of the childcare. He does all the outside and hard housework, but still I am the one running around like crazy till 9:00 every night. Keep your head up girly!

Megan said...

I wonder the same thing...It'll get better- I hope!

Mrs. Z said...

Ugh, I've been doing the single parent thing for 2 weeks and it is HARD! I'm sure someone else will have some words of wisdom, all I've got is, I hear ya!

Bobi said...

I am now in full swing morning sickness/heartburn/exhaustion. I have NEVER had a pregnancy like this. (Which I assume is a great sign.) I can't cook anything involving meat, I can't do dishes because well, it makes me sick, I can't clean anything because I am just exhausted, and Gee is sick.
He has had an above average heart rate all week and is complaining of chest pains. Currently he is refusing to go to the ER, so I am stressing out and our house has gone to hell in a hand basket!
I have no idea how to manage a baby in utero let alone a baby and a toddler. And I can't imagine how you survived the first trimester while chasing Alice around! Hats off to you ma'am!

Danifred said...

I've said the same thing before. I don't know how people do it. It is such hard work. Even if we love them, it's hard work.

Carrie27 said...

I think being a SAHM is much more manageable than when I was working full time and the hubby was working long hours, or deployed. I got on a schedule as soon as I could with all of them. I got the twins and A napping at the same time, which helped immensely. I tended to housework when the kids were awake, and I am big planner when it comes to meals. When it was really hard, I would prep meals the night before so I could just pop them in the oven or crockpot in the morning. It's a matter of finding a balance.