Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I Declare War...

... against my body. Apparently, it has already begun fighting me.

What now, you may ask. My body has always been really messed up; at least fertility wise. I know you are thinking, but you have a baby. Yes, I do. Obviously, my body works like it should from time to time. At this point, I'm just grateful that the breasts got the whole producing milk memo, and made good on it.

I have had irregular cycles my entire life. Well, ever since I started having cycles. I was hoping that having a baby would give it a good kick in the arse, and it would realize that there should be some pattern to its madness. Apparently, that pattern is no pattern. That is a pattern, right? Granted, I am still breastfeeding, so that probably has some to do with this whole "where is Aunt Flo" thing, but seriously. Body you suck!

Dear Body/Brain/Hormones,

I detest you. Can all three of you get together and squash whatever it is that is obviously causing a rift in your relationship? Seriously. Enough of all of this.

Body and Brain keep gearing up to ovulate, but hormones where are you? Obviously, you are not all there or Aunt Flo would be showing up from time to time. Here I am on day 68 or 69. I keep having horrible O pains, but no O. Heck, I don't care if I O or not this cycle; it isn't like we are trying to conceive right now. I just am tired of being bloated and the little pains that accompany all of that fun stuff.

So, please, all three of you... get together, have a good talking over, and figure it out. I would like for this situation to be remedied in the somewhat near future. Ideally, before we decide to try to have another baby. I would like all three of you on your best behavior, and working together before then. Then I would be so thankful and that in turn would make my life so much easier to try to pinpoint fertile/infertile days down the road.

Sincerely,
Your Hostess

3 comments:

HereWeGoAJen said...

I didn't get my cycle back for a full year after Elizabeth was born and I am still not regular yet. I'm getting there though.

verysleepypeople.com said...

I...have never been regular. Ever. I'll occasionally be regular for 2-4 months at a time, and then it'll go back to every other month or every three months or whatever. I never know when my cycle is going to start. It's unpredictable. But then again, we all KNOW I am biologically impaired.

Danifred said...

I will be copying this letter to post to my own body. Apparently, there is a conspiracy going on because mine isn't working either.