An Angel Got His Wings

I'm terribly saddened to tell you that two year old Tyler Burdick got his wings yesterday. I have been struggling with this, and wrote the following early this morning...

I want to thank You, God, for the blessing and miracle that was Tyler. I've never met this little boy or his mother, but I feel like a little part of me has died. My heart aches. I cannot begin to imagine how his parents feel. As a mother, this really is tortuous. It is my worst nightmare. I realize you are never too young to die. That the triumph is much greater than the tragedy. Tyler is at peace and healed. He is on his greater and ultimate journey, as Jesus promised.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

On behalf of his parents, I want to thank You for allowing all three of them those last hours. What a blessing and a miracle. The beautiful symbolism of the circle of life--from Your hands to Stephanie's, and from Stephanie's back to Yours.

I know many people are wondering "Why Tyler?" God, I know your intention for Tyler's life. He has brought so many people together. He has brought many people to You and strengthened their faith, myself included. He has helped me become a better parent in many ways. I have more patience. I hug, kiss, and tell my children that I love them more. He was such a fighter, hero, and inspiration.

I'm now praying for Stephanie, Dan, Dawson, and Gabriel. Please comfort them and lift up their hearts. Give Stephanie and Dan guidance to help Dawson, and eventually Gabriel, understand.

"A child that loses a parent is an orphan. A man that loses his wife is a widower. A woman that loses her husband is a widow. There is no name for a parent that loses a child, as there is no word to describe the pain." -Author Unknown
***
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads his white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. He is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch him until at length he hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, he is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. He is just as large in mast and hull and spar as he was when he left my side and he is just as able to bear the load of living freight to his destined port.

His diminished size is in me, not in him. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, he is gone!" There are other eyes watching him coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here he comes!"
***
Tyler, may you rest in peace, sweet boy. This is not goodbye. This is a see you soon. "Lord, at last let Thine angels come"


If you feel compelled to donate to this family (Dan lost his job while being with Tyler--so they could use help with the funeral, medical bills, mortgage/utilities/food, etc) please visit their CaringBridge site. Their email address is listed (gpxchick@hotmail.com) and donations can be made through Paypal (make sure to mark as gift, otherwise fees are involved). Their home address is also listed there. I believe a bank account has also been set up, but I need to double check on that. Please check out their site and read about Tyler's last hours. It is really quite beautiful and heartbreaking.

Also, for you parents that have lost a baby or child, can you recommend any support groups? I'm sure Stephanie and Dan could use any support they can get.

One Day I'll Laugh About This

I was making Jenner's Braciola for dinner, when Alice came in the kitchen. She was bent down grabbing herself, announcing "pees". Before I could do anything, she turns around and I notice my worst nightmare! She didn't mean pee, folks!

I got her in the bathroom and set her on the potty. Then I set off in search of her pull-up. I found it. Behind the tv?! I also found a lot of messes in various rooms.

After getting her cleaned up, a new pull-up, and a movie going, I started to clean up these messes. A few minutes later, she comes up to me with no pull-up on (again!). So we sat back on the potty and put on a diaper this time. I know she will probably just take the diaper off too, but at least she doesn't have to "step out" of it.

I'm excited that she is starting to initiate potty training. I'm not thrilled with the prospect of a poop covered house everyday!

I know I'll laugh about this later, but right now I need to go figure out what is smashed raisins (from her snack) and what isn't! FYI, they look the same. Man, I'm going to need a drink tonight!

What A Morning!

I hope this posts. I wrote one yesterday, and I tried to publish it and have NO idea where it went. It wasn't even saved to my drafts!

I got everyone to bed earlier than ever last night. Everyone was asleep BY 9 pm! Except me. I stayed up until 1 am.

Around 2:30, I was awoken to Sean running into the room yelling, "How did he fall out of the swing?" I immediately jumped up and said, "What the hell!" Alice woke up during all of this, so we had two kids crying. Alice didn't want Sean to leave ("Daddee NOOOO bye!"). HJ only cried for a few minutes. I checked him out. No bumps or marks. He nursed for about twenty minutes and then went back to sleep. It took me an hour to get Alice back down. She HAD to have a cookie and a drink. I stayed up for awhile longer and kept checking on HJ.

He seems fine. He shows no signs of anything. No vomiting, etc. He has been sleeping a lot, though. I tried to figure out how he got out of the swing. We have it fully reclined, and it wasn't going fast enough to "launch" him out of there. I think he just plopped himself over the tray.

I checked on him again before going to sleep, and he was almost out again! Apparently he had kicked the tray up and was wiggling himself down. Good grief! I've got a Houdini! Now it is time to start buckling him in. I never in a million years would have thought I'd have to worry about this with a 6 week old!

(Just talked to Sean and this is what he said)
Sean said he was in the kitchen and he heard two thuds. He was in the bedroom before HJ started crying and picked him up. He thought Alice had thrown him out of the swing! Our best guess is that the first "thud" was him kicking the tray up and the second was him hitting the floor. I guess he was face down about two feet in front of the swing!

I'm planning on calling the pediatrician, as he seems fine, but I'm worried a little as he has been asleep since 8:30 (it is almost 1pm). I know the big thing to look for/worry about is vomiting, and we are okay there.

I'm just hoping he is fine. He seems to be, but I'm still a little worried. I'm glad babies are resilient. Sean "dropped" Alice (he says she rolled off of his chest) and she hit her head on the corner of the nightstand, within hours of getting home from the hospital after her birth! So we are no strangers to head "injuries".

Also today, I've had to wash one of the couch cushions and give Alice a bath. She had a blowout and got it all over the couch. Lovely!

Ahh, a day in the life ;-)