Eight Months!

I'm a day late, but what's new? Harry turned 8 months yesterday! Has it really been eight months? Anyway, I haven't done a monthly update (or any update) in awhile, so I figured I'd better let you know what is up with my butterball!

Harry has three almost four teeth. Two on bottom and one and another about to finish popping through any day now. He loves to eat! The list of things that he does not like is much shorter than what he does like. He does not like butter beans. Yeah, that is all that I've noticed he will not eat. He eats meat, tons of veggies, some fruits, bread/pasta/rice, and he had some cookie the other day-thanks to Alice!

Harry is still nursing a lot. Mostly at night. He nurses maybe four or five times during the day and several times while sleeping. Or at least I'm sleeping. That is one wonderful benefit of co-sleeping. He also likes to bite. He has little shark teeth on the bottom and it hurts so much more than it did when Alice would bite. Of course, he is like her because it is oh so funny to make me say no, ow, or ouch!

We are so close to crawling. He has been getting up on his hands and knees and rocking for the past week or two. He can move himself backwards, but only manages to do face plants forwards. Harry is sitting up so well. It only took FOREVER! The other day he sat up from a crawling position. It is nice to have a "baby". Alice was walking steadily by this age. Just goes to show how different babies are!

I weighed him the other day. Unofficially, he is almost 21 pounds. I also weighed Alice and she was 26.5 pounds. No wonder my back hurts when I hold him!

Harry is still just the happiest, most content little man. He is rarely without a smile. Even in the throes of teething, he is a pretty pleasant baby!

And now to see how cute (and BIG) he is getting...

(Belated) Three Months

Harry turned three months on June 14. I'm late posting this, but better late than never, right? The pictures were taken on his month-aversary, so at least I managed that!

Harry rolled over back to tummy the week before he turned three months. He has only done this a few times. I'm pretty sure he is capable of doing it more often, but I don't give him nearly enough tummy time. We average twenty minutes a week. Oops! I just worry about Alice jumping on him or kicking him accidentally. This has happened a few times before, and I'd rather him be "delayed" in some gross motor skills, than have mush for brains. I've been trying to sneak more in, but lately he has just been kicking himself in circles or pulling himself across the mat.

Someone is a big fan of sitting and standing! In fact, he prefers to be sitting on a lap. He can "stand" for upwards to a minute before his legs give out.

Alice is the best toy ever! He stares contentedly and in awe of whatever his big sister is doing. I have been bathing them together when he needs a bath. This is a logistical nightmare, but much easier than doing them separately. I just bring jammies, diapers, lotion, the changing pad, and the bouncy seat in the bathroom. Harry watches while I wash Alice, and then we put his tub in the tub. Alice loves to help wash him and blows raspberries on his belly! Then we dry him off, lotion him up, diaper and jammies and he sits in the bouncy seat smiling and laughing as I wrangle Alice.

Speaking of smiles, this little guy's melt my heart! He is just the prettiest little boy and such a joy!

Harry has been sleeping through the night for quite awhile. Turns out sleeping babies are not just myths! We have this odd nights, but usually he goes 8 1/2 hours. Occasionally it will be longer. His record is about 10!

Harry loves the mama milks! He will take a bottle, but really likes it from the tap better. This makes me happy! And him too!

He started reaching for his toys and loves to grab his feet. He is a champion reverse ab cruncher! We have been wearing 3-6 month clothes for almost a month, and some of them are getting a bit snug (mostly in length). I have a feeling someone may be bigger than Alice by this time next year!

His favorite past-time is chewing and sucking on his fists and arm. Really anyone's arm will do. I am sure he will give me a hickey one of these days.

And now for monthly pictures!

Alice did not partake in this months pictures. She was having an epic tantrum, and wanted to be left alone. I'll see if I can get her to participate next month!

And these last two are to show what sweet smiles he has. They were taken about 2 1/2 months. Isn't he just the sweetest, prettiest baby boy?

Catching Up

I've been absent for awhile. Maybe you noticed. It was bound to happen. I could feel it coming on. I just was so "burnt" out that I didn't even have the decency to let all of you lovely Internets know.

It started gradual. Posting every few days instead of daily. Then not posting, but still reading and commenting on your blogs. And then...well I took a hiatus.

I was feeling so overwhelmed and weighed down. I had a to-do list miles long and nothing was getting crossed off. I had hit the peak of the hormone drop (I did the same thing around this time with Alice too). I was just burnt out. I enjoy blogging and keeping up with each one of you. It just got to the point that it felt like more of a "chore" than something I enjoyed. My comments were hardly thoughtful, and were completely generic. I don't like being like that. I like being "me" and writing the things I would say. So I just took a complete break.

I played a lot with the kiddos. I got some things on my to-do list crossed off. I enjoyed the little bit of "me" time that I sometimes can squeeze in, and did whatever I felt like doing. I got some flowers, herbs, and veggies planted. I have mastered the perfect (to me) cranberry almond chicken salad.

So enough about that. Updates. Alice has had a horrible diaper rash/yeast infection for months. Every time she had a dirty diaper it would come back. I'd slather diaper cream and Lotrimin on her and it would clear up. Only to return with the next dirty diaper. So I took her back to the pediatrician (again) and demanded help. I was thinking it was strep. The doctor thought otherwise. So we started using a few different creams. I'm happy (albeit a bit annoyed I was wrong) that her rash/bumps are pretty much cleared up.

HJ is just the sweetest. He smiles and talks to me all of the time. And the giggles? My goodness. My heart explodes EVERY. TIME.

The chicks? Not so chick looking. We Sean put them outside the other day. I can't tell which one Fluffy is anymore. See for yourself how much they have grown in the past two weeks.

Two or three weeks old.

Three or four weeks old!

Four or five weeks old!

It may be hard to tell how much bigger they are because of the angle and zoom differences. Trust me. They are mini chickens now! And yes, I know they were before, but they weren't "chicken" looking.

One of my mom's pugs had puppies almost two weeks ago. Sean wants to get one. I'm struggling with this. I'm torn. I do want a puppy/dog. I just don't know if I want a pug. And if I want one soon. I already have a lot going on around here. I already deal with enough poop and mouths to feed (Alice, HJ, the cat, three rabbits, the chickens, and the chicks). Logically, it doesn't make sense. However, it does when I look at the big picture. I'm at home, so I'd be here to house train. I could house train before I potty train Alice. HJ isn't mobile (yet), so that makes the transition a bit easier. If we wait, then we'd be waiting at least a year or two. And who knows what life will be like then?!

Then the whole pug debate. I want another Staffy. That costs money, and quite a bit. The pug would be free (initially). Are pugs good with kids? That is my biggest priority, of course, followed by the hair. From what I've read, pugs shed heavily. I'm not too keen on that. So if you have any experience or knowledge on pugs, let me have it!

So I'm back! I'm not going to promise daily posts. I'm going to ease back into my groove. I do promise that if I ever need a break, that I will let all you lovely people know.

Two Months

I'm a few days late, but I wanted to include HJ's stats in his monthly update.

Our little man is getting BIG! He weighs 13 pounds 12 ounces and is 24 inches long. That is over half of Alice's weight! Which is a good thing, since she can be so rough with him.

We got half of his immunizations. We go back in two weeks for the rest. I can't imagine what all of them would have done. He was super fussy and slept from 6 pm to 2 am! He has been cranky today, so I gave him some Tylenol. He fell asleep shortly afterwards.

HJ is smiling all of the time now. His eyes appear to be getting more blue. He loves to talk to us.

He doesn't care much for tummy time, but isn't totally opposed to it. He will scoot himself around the activity mat and the crib. Last night he turned himself ninety degrees and moved two feet down.

HJ continues to be a good sleeper. We usually will go a stretch of five or six hours (we've gotten eight or nine a few times). When he goes that long, he typically nurses every hour and a half to two hours. He has gotten his days/nights mixed up the past week, so I have been up until 4/5 am. That makes for one tired mommy, as Alice gets up shortly after 9 (sometimes 10), but there is usually one or two feedings before that. I'm hoping the shots and his increased sleep will help get us back into the swing of things. The nights I bring him into bed with all of us, he does really well. He is super cuddly!

Now a few pictures (these were taken on his two month-aversary!).

The second picture is my favorite, but a bit blurry. Then there is the picture with Alice, whom likes to take her clothes off! My (not so) little man is just the cutest thing ever!

What A Morning!

I hope this posts. I wrote one yesterday, and I tried to publish it and have NO idea where it went. It wasn't even saved to my drafts!

I got everyone to bed earlier than ever last night. Everyone was asleep BY 9 pm! Except me. I stayed up until 1 am.

Around 2:30, I was awoken to Sean running into the room yelling, "How did he fall out of the swing?" I immediately jumped up and said, "What the hell!" Alice woke up during all of this, so we had two kids crying. Alice didn't want Sean to leave ("Daddee NOOOO bye!"). HJ only cried for a few minutes. I checked him out. No bumps or marks. He nursed for about twenty minutes and then went back to sleep. It took me an hour to get Alice back down. She HAD to have a cookie and a drink. I stayed up for awhile longer and kept checking on HJ.

He seems fine. He shows no signs of anything. No vomiting, etc. He has been sleeping a lot, though. I tried to figure out how he got out of the swing. We have it fully reclined, and it wasn't going fast enough to "launch" him out of there. I think he just plopped himself over the tray.

I checked on him again before going to sleep, and he was almost out again! Apparently he had kicked the tray up and was wiggling himself down. Good grief! I've got a Houdini! Now it is time to start buckling him in. I never in a million years would have thought I'd have to worry about this with a 6 week old!

(Just talked to Sean and this is what he said)
Sean said he was in the kitchen and he heard two thuds. He was in the bedroom before HJ started crying and picked him up. He thought Alice had thrown him out of the swing! Our best guess is that the first "thud" was him kicking the tray up and the second was him hitting the floor. I guess he was face down about two feet in front of the swing!

I'm planning on calling the pediatrician, as he seems fine, but I'm worried a little as he has been asleep since 8:30 (it is almost 1pm). I know the big thing to look for/worry about is vomiting, and we are okay there.

I'm just hoping he is fine. He seems to be, but I'm still a little worried. I'm glad babies are resilient. Sean "dropped" Alice (he says she rolled off of his chest) and she hit her head on the corner of the nightstand, within hours of getting home from the hospital after her birth! So we are no strangers to head "injuries".

Also today, I've had to wash one of the couch cushions and give Alice a bath. She had a blowout and got it all over the couch. Lovely!

Ahh, a day in the life ;-)

Friday Night Leftovers (Take Two)

I'm really irritated. I was almost done with my leftovers when Blogger had to refresh, and I lost them. ARGH! I'll probably forget half of what I wrote the first time, but here we go...

•Happy Earth Day, on this Good Friday. Not only did Jesus die for our carbon transgressions, but also for all of our sins.

•As I was playing with HJ and watching him smile at me, I thought how happy I am that I'm not God because if I had to give up my son to save all of mankind, you'd all die and go to hell.

•I am incredibly exhausted. I have gotten three to four hours of sleep each of the past few nights. Consequently, I have been nodding off nursing and anytime I'm sitting.

•Want to know how exhausted I am? I changed HJ's diaper the other day. I then put him down, threw the diaper away, grabbed him and changed his diaper. A little bit later, I was wondering how Alice's diaper could be leaking?! Gee, I wonder!

•Do you know that breast pads don't work when you put the absorbent side away from you? Twice I have done that this week, and woken up soaking wet and in a puddle of breast milk.

•My mom made a comment the other day (in reference to having my hands full) that if I had a third I'd just be depressed. Umm, no. I might go crazy from the chaos, but I wouldn't be depressed. That explains why she was a crappy mother...at least until she just quit parenting.

•When I told Sean about what my mom said, he agreed that that explains everything. Then he went on to say that anyone who has more than two kids is selfish. We should just repopulate ourselves. WTH?! I think this comes from his parents (he and his sisters spent the majority of their youth with other relatives and apart from each other) and their lack of involvement, love, etc.

•HJ is now rolling both ways from tummy to back, and can use his forearms to lift himself up. He's grounded! Growing up too fast is now a mandatory grounding!

•We are forecasted for thunderstorms for the next week. Why don't you just pee in my Wheaties too, Mother Nature?

•Thank you for all of your suggestions yesterday! I will be trying them out and seeing what works. I'll update soon :-)

•I realize a lot of you really don't know a lot about me. I know I'm usually talking about the kids (they're mine and I like talking about them), but there is more to me than mom-dom. Is there anything you'd like to know?

For more leftovers, visit Danifred! Wishing everyone a Happy Easter!

Help Me Out

I'm going to start a new thing. It may not be weekly, but it will be an occasional thing. Help Me Out will be where I ask you some questions, and you can humor me and help me out!

Jack (that is what I'm calling him this week *wink*) has been a horrible napper lately. He will fall asleep nursing and wake up immediately upon putting him down. He takes cat naps. Ten, maybe twenty minutes if I'm lucky. In order to get him to take a good nap during the day, I have been putting him in bed with Alice and me, and nursing him until he falls asleep. Then he will sleep for about three hours, BUT only if I'm lying next to him for a good part of that at the beginning. So I usually end up taking a nap for an hour or so (much needed!). I then put him in the bassinet, which I warm up with a heating pad so it feels like I'm still there for a bit. Any ideas on getting him to nap better and quit falling asleep at my breast? I don't swaddle him, but maybe that would help. He does well at night mostly. I put him in the swing, and he will go anywhere from 3-5 hours with the occasional longer stretch.

Alice, also, has been napping/sleeping poorly. She has been getting about 8 hours of sleep at night, and a two (sometimes three) hour nap. She really needs more like twelve hours of sleep a day. She will fall asleep for twenty to thirty minutes, and then be up for a few hours before actually napping (which means she goes down later than I'd like) and the same thing at bedtime. Tonight she went to bed with Sean (about 9:30) so I'm hoping she will stay asleep until morning. I think me lying in bed and being awake is what is interrupting her sleep. If Sean is here, I can stay out if the room until I'm ready to sleep, but if I'm the only one here, she won't stay in bed unless I'm right there with her. Any ideas for her?

One Month

Today is Harold Jack's one month Birthday! Time is flying by! I'm grounding him because I'm not having any of this growing up business!

The past month has been so wonderful. HJ has fit right in to our family very nicely. Alice is getting better with him each and every day. Though she still loves to climb into the bassinet, regardless whether he is in it or not!

HJ is just the sweetest, most calm and laid-back baby. He hardly cries unless he is hungry. He sleeps! He seems to have gotten his days and nights back. He goes down around 11:30-midnight and sleeps until 5 or 6, gets up to eat, and goes back down until 10-11. Such a sweetheart! I'm hoping his schedule stays like this, but I know it will probably change.

HJ has rolled over twice now. The first time at 3w2d and the second time two days later. He only goes from his tummy to back (and from his left side).

He takes the occasional bottle of pumped milk, which is nice for future occasions and when Mommy needs a bit of a break.

We have each gotten a real smile out of him. That just melts my heart! His one month appointment isn't until Monday, so I don't know his height/weight yet, but I will update then. I know he has grown quite a bit because he feels heavier, and he has been nursing almost constantly during the day!

And now his one month picture!

Happy One Month Birthday, my little man! Mommy, Daddy, and Sissy love you very much!

Harold Jack's Birth Story

I have been working on this for almost four weeks, and am finally done!
*****************************************************

I had a feeling on Friday, March 11, that I would be going into labor soon. I remember telling Sean on the phone that I wasn't going to make it through the next week! He thought I was referring to taking care of Alice. Ha! Nope, my dear, this baby will be here soon.

Of course, he thought I was just tired and cranky, but I could tell. How? I had a tingly sensation in my head (hormones-I got them a few days before Alice was born, and get them from time to time before I ovulate or start my period) and I felt like being left completely alone. Alice was driving me nuts that evening, and she was just watching a movie! My sister called too, and I just didn't want to talk. I told her I wasn't feeling well and (I think) wanted to be left alone. So not like me.

So Saturday rolls around, and I got sick that morning. I decided to still go to my prenatal massage because nothing would make me go into labor, unless it was time. I remember having some cramps in the drive there. I relaxed and enjoyed my massage. As soon as it was over and I got up to get dressed, the cramps returned but were stronger and a bit painful.

I got home and took a nap. When I got up, the cramps returned. I needed to go pick up some prescriptions, so Alice and I headed into town. We didn't make it before the pharmacy closed (missed by four minutes!). I realized on the drive there, that my "cramps" were getting stronger, and I had three (it is a 10 minute drive). So I opened up Contraction Master on my phone and started timing. Sure enough, they were contractions! We got home, and I threw something together for dinner and went to sit down. The contractions were irregular, lasting around 30 seconds and anywhere from four to twenty minutes apart. I called my brother and let him know that he was on-call for the night.

After dinner and Alice's bath, I had Sean get her settled for bed, and I went outside to walk. I didn't want to have days of prodromal labor like I had with Alice. Days of painful contractions, no more than twenty minutes apart, really take a toll on you! I walked up and down the driveway, and even through the yard. The contractions slowed down and spaced out. So I went inside and took a hot shower. I was hoping they would pick back up, but they didn't. So I went to bed.

I got up several times, still having minor contractions, but was able to go back to sleep. About 7 am, they were getting uncomfortable and I couldn't sleep anymore. So I got up and started walking around. I called the after hours number and left my number for the ob to call. I had Sean go into town to get prescriptions and a few things. That was around 8:30. I told him to hurry back because I was having trouble coping through some of them. Alice woke up and I fixed her breakfast.

I hopped into the shower, while she was eating, and this time they didn't stop or slow down. Sean called and told me the pharmacy didn't open until 10 am, and he'd be home right afterwards. So I called my brother and let him know what was going on. That we would be going to the hospital at some point, and I'd keep him informed.

I went to the bathroom where I noticed I lost a large portion of my mucus plug and had some bleeding. Sean called and said he was on his way home. I told him what was going on, and I guess he over reacted a bit because I noticed him flying down the road with hazard lights on, going about 80!

He ran in and started rushing around. What a contrast to being in labor with Alice. I had to threaten to kill him for hours before he agreed to go to the hospital! I told him to calm down. We had awhile left. I finished packing a few things for the hospital, and then packed a bag for Alice, along with snacks, juice, and books. Sean packed up the car, and I finally talked to my doctor. I told her I had been having contractions regularly since 7 (it was after 11 at this point). They were lasting 30-50 seconds, and 1:30-3 minutes apart. She told me to head to the hospital. I went to the bathroom before we left, and noticed a lot more mucus plug and bloody show. So we headed to the hospital. I called my brother en route, and he was to meet us there.

Sean took a different route to the hospital, an asked if we had time to grab some food. I was starving, so we pulled into a McDonald's. We got our food, and headed towards the hospital. We got there around 1 pm, and headed up to Labor & Delivery. They got me in a triage room and had me put on a gown. The nurse checked me, and I was 3 cm and about 50% effaced. Normally, you have to be 4 cm to be admitted, but my ob came in and said to admit me. So they moved us to a huge delivery room (it was for twins). After hooking me up to the monitors and starting an IV line, I was able to walk around for 40 minutes every hour, with 20 minutes of monitoring.

My dad, brother, and Alice were still at the hospital and they came back to visit for a bit. I will never forget the look on Alice's face. She looked confused and concerned...and yet, in awe of everything! Alice, my dad, and I did a few laps while they were there. I had to stop with every contraction, and Alice kept rubbing my leg. It was so sweet! They left about 3 to get her a nap.

My walking laps and being monitored continued for a few more hours. My contractions were getting increasingly painful, and if I wasn't up walking around (actually bending over, kind of squatting) through them, I had a really hard time getting through them!

At six, my new nurse came in and offered me an epidural. I told her I wanted to see where I was at, and then decide. I was STILL 3 cm and about 80% effaced. So in four hours of walking, it did nothing. I told her I'd wait a bit longer, but they were starting pitocin, so I didn't know how long I'd be able to hang on.

They started pitocin about 7pm, and I was pretty confined to the bed (or bathroom) at that point. I hung in there for several hours before I couldn't take it anymore. I asked for an epidural, and at 10:30 the anesthesiologist came in. This was the worst experience of my life! She used the lidocaine shot, but didn't wait for it to start working before starting to put the epidural in. So I'm bent over the table, holding on to my nurse's hands and I can feel the whole thing. At some point it just felt like pressure, so the lidocaine had started working. Of course, during this I'm having the longest and strongest contraction yet. So I'm breathing (barely), tears were streaming down my face, and the nurse was trying to help me cope. She kept apologizing under her breath for the dr not waiting for everything to numb. The epi was finally in, and was started. Of course, it didn't take very well. My right side was numb, but I could feel hot points on my left side. Which didn't surprise me, since I felt the epi go in and it was more on the right side of my spine. Plus she put it up a bit higher than normal. So what does the dr do? Just keeps giving me more drugs in the line. Which eventually makes my left side numb too. Of course, it was too much and having to lie almost flat didn't help. It soon traveled up to my chest, and I started having an anxiety attack. Do you know what it feels like to have to cough, but not be able to because everything is numb? Scary! So I elevated the bed and after an hour or so, I could start to feel my chest.

I was checked a little after midnight, and I was almost 4 cm and 80%. I was getting frustrated. I just tried to relax and played some games on my phone. Sometime between 1:15-1:20, I heard a "pop" and what "felt" like there was fluid by my legs (I was still really numb, so to feel anything was weird). My nurse came in a few minutes later, and I asked her to check me because I thought my water had broken. I was right, my water had broken and she said there was some meconium. Great. Now if I had been anxious before, that was nothing compared to how I felt now! She did an internal and I was now 7cm! Woo hoo! I woke Sean up a little after this time and told him the party was going to be starting soon, and to give him a heads up about the meconium.

She went off to notify the Nicu that they would need to be there at delivery, and to call my ob. A little after 2 am, Stacy (my nurse-who was the best ever!) came in to check me (I was almost complete) and let me know it wouldn't be an "intimate" delivery, as a lot of people would be there, in case he had any complications. My epidural was wearing off on my left side and I was getting hot spots, so they gave me another bolus. Great more numbness!

Around 2:30 am, I started feeling pressure and let Stacy know. I was almost complete, but had a bit of cervical lip left (had this with Alice too-they just flipped it). So we waited for my doctor.

She got there about 2:45 and checked me. I told her she would probably have to flip the lip, and she smiled and did. Then we had to wait for the Nicu team. They came in right before 3 am, set up, and got called to another room! My doctor and Stacy were a bit peeved! Couldn't it wait? His head was literally right there! My contractions were moving him down and at this rate he would just slide out!

So they came right back. I started pushing at 3:05. Two contractions later, Harold Jack was born at 3:08 am, weighing 9 pounds (actually 8lbs15.6oz), 22 inches, and head circumference of 14cm.

It felt like minutes before I heard him cry, but Sean said it was almost immediate. Sean cut the cord, and followed him to get suctioned. Then they brought him to me. He was absolutely beautiful! Dark hair, chubby cheeks...just perfect! After a few minutes, they whisked him off to get cleaned up and then brought him back to me. I started nursing him, and he went to town!

We had to wait about two hours before they moved us, as I still couldn't feel or move my legs from that last bolus (which I don't think I needed, but who knew it would be so soon after?!).

Once we got to our room, I immediately was given some pain medicine along with a turkey sandwich and some other stuff. I'm pretty sure it was an awful sandwich, but it tasted amazing! Funny how hunger is the best seasoning!

About 7 am, I managed to get a bit of a nap in. I'm glad I did because visitors started pouring in around 10 am. Did they think that I slept six hours and was well rested? Luckily, I managed a shower before that, and Sean went home to get cleaned up and feed the animals.

When my brother and SIL brought Alice, I just started bawling! I had missed her terribly. She and I had never spent that much time apart, let alone an overnight! Plus the look on her face! Excitement, happiness, and concern. She was glad to see me, wondering why I was in this totally awesome bed with buttons, and wait...what is that? A BABY! "Beebee!" And the tears started flowing again! I got her in bed with me and hugged and kissed her, and introduced her brother to her.

I was a bit disappointed that we didn't get family time with Alice before everyone came. That was my original plan. To introduce her, and the four of us have a little time together. It all worked out. We had all evening together and the next day!

Harold Jack was unnamed until the last hour (or less) that we were at the hospital. We had a name picked out that second day (Charles Walker), but when I told my sister she said "Chuck Norris, Walker Texas Ranger" and I immediately nixed it. I have always loved the name Harold Jack (how could you not like the way it flows!), plus my grandfather was named Harold and my other grandfather was John (nickname for Jack). I had given up on the name long before we knew HJ was a boy. So when Sean came in and suggested it that last day, I was surprised to say the least! So that is how HJ became Harold Jack!

Oh The Love!

I am just so in love with HJ, Alice, and Sean. It is amazing how adding a new little person can intensify the love everyday for everyone!

I worried while pregnant if I would love this little man as much as I love Alice. Without a doubt, I do, and it happened so much "quicker" than after Alice was born. Not to say I didn't love her immediately-I did! I just think my heart grew a million times more that day, so it just felt like that.

I'm really wondering how my body can contain my heart. It feels like it grows exponentially everyday!